|Going to work before the sun rises... I hate Daylight Saving Time.|
Anonymous asks: How does someone (me) who can't stand the thought of not drinking get sober?
My question back to you is, do you WANT to quit drinking? Are you convinced that you cannot drink normally? I know you can't stand the thought of not drinking, but probably no real alcoholic can. Until they do. I can only share my own experience, strength, and hope. When I called AA I had no idea how I could possibly not drink. It didn't seem possible. But I asked for help and I got it. The rest is history. Thank God for the simple people who made themselves available to me - they told me straight - Don't drink, don't think, go to meetings, read the big book, get a sponsor. People don't much like to hear that anymore because they have great minds and hate to be told that their great mind might not be helping them... Anyway, that's my story.
Amber asks: In may i will be celebrating 3 yrs of sobriety. I thank God everyday for the life i live now. During my first year of sobriety i worked/work with a wonderful sponsor...she truly understood the program & attended aa meetings for all the RIGHT reasons. The group i attended i soon realizeed were a bunch of bottom feeders, for many reasons (i wont go into detail) i decided to no longer attend aa. I practice all my principles that my sponsor taught me, see a therapist once a month. My sobriety is super strong BUT i sometimes worry about not attending meetings. Any advice on what i can practice on my own to keep my sobriety in check. Trust me, if i ever thought i would drink again, i wld attend meetings & do whatever i needed too. Ur websited along with others have helped me so much! Xo
As I said before, I can only share my experience, strength, and hope. I have had many bad experiences in AA. But early on, I asked myself if I wanted to stay sober and the answer was yes. So, I kept going to meetings and being involved in AA - because I tried many times to stay sober without AA and never was successful. So, if I run across a bad group, I find another. If I have to, I start a new meeting. I need AA members in my life to talk to, to run things by, to share my life with. Other people do not understand us.
I have seen too many people leave AA for many reasons, and I have never heard this with a happy ending. Seriously. I go to funerals of people who said things like you just said. That they are just fine alone and IF they ever need anything, they would come to AA. Somehow they just don't. If you are an alcoholic, alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful. That drink can sneak up on you because you will have no effective mental defense.
I'm sorry to be so frank, but that is my experience.
About a year and a half ago, I stopped blogging. I had been irritated by many things about it, but the last straw was when I read the blog of a woman who told me she came by my blog first thing every morning and it meant so much to her. She didn't go to AA, her blog was full of self-justified hatred. I thought that I was enabling her to act like that in some small way. She thought she had some kind of a program because she read my blog! OMG!
I am just a crazy old drunk! Sober, yes, but I am an alcoholic in recovery. We are nutty people. Don't feed our egos, because it can kill us. My blog is meant to be a place where I can share my experience and have a community with like minded folks.
I never meant to be an expert on recovery from alcoholism. I find that whole idea offensive. Granted, I have a lot of experience I can share, but I never have and never intend to "graduate" to some higher plane of sobriety, where I "pay back" by gracing you all with my presence. I am in the trenches with the rest of the drunks.
If you are an alcoholic, my advice is to go to AA and do what they tell you to do. If you find a crappy group, go find another one. If you have a crappy sponsor, fire him/her/it and get another one. Geez Louise. Just keep plugging if you want to live.
Was everyone you knew when you were drinking just so nice and churchy? Maybe you never hung out in a bar - but I did. I had spidey senses about who to stay away from, and I used those skills in AA. I still got taken in plenty of times. I met bad intentioned men, I was stolen from, taken advantage of, etc. So what? So, do I lay down and die because not everyone is nice?
Not me. You can go ahead if you want.
Sorry, I'm all fired up. I will now go sit down in a chair and pray. Maybe I'll call my sponsor. All that stuff works.