Friday, March 09, 2012

Some "A"s for your "Q"s

Hey, thanks for all the questions!  I was surprised by the number of them and also the content of them.  But this is fun.  I will make my best effort:

Syd asks:  What do you think AA will look like in 25 years--will singleness of purpose be a thing of the past? Will there be splinter groups? Please explain based on your experience.
      I actually think AA as we know it is on its last leg.  For a couple of reasons; we have totally lost our focus and our language has been watered down into nothingness by the treatment centers.    I have written and rewritten this twice, so I must not be meant to expound on this.  

Mrs. D asks: what has kept you sober for so long? Is it the memory of your dysfunctional life before you stopped? Is it AA? Or is it that you really enjoy living sober?
  I don't really often think about my old life before I got sober.  It has no appeal to me.  AA gave me a way of living that worked.  The program really works.  It brought me to a God of my understanding,  that is where I really put the credit for me being sober.  And I really enjoy living sober.  The thought of a drink is about the worst thing I can think of. 

Mary LA (in Africa) asks:  Did your family come from Ireland originally? Have you ever visited the place from which they emigrated to America?
  My father's side of the family were fairly recent immigrants, my paternal grandfather came from Birmingham, England around the turn of the century (1900s).  My paternal grandmother's family came from Ireland maybe 3 generations before her.  Some of my mother's family can be traced back to the Revolutionary War in the US.  They came from Germany mostly.  One of my great grandmothers came from Amsterdam.  I feel 100% American, and although I would love to go to Europe (and never have), it would be to see the art and architecture, and not for any sense of homecoming. 

Ellie asks a few unusual questions:  What's a new recipe you've gotten lately that you really liked?  
I'm on a grilled vegetable kick.  Nothing fancy, just vegetables, sliced and grilled, with maybe a splash of balsamic vinegar.  

What's a good one-sentence prayer I can use for when I'm feeling super overwhelmed?
"Thy will not mine be done."
  Are you the type of person who walks out of movies or stops reading books when you don't like them, or do you feel obligated to stick it out to the bitter end?
I have absolutely no problem putting a book down if it isn't wonderful.  I have walked out of movies when bored or offended.  Life is too short to waste it doing things that aren't beneficial or enjoyable.
What's your favorite word?
I don't think I have one.  I love good descriptive words.  

Lou, of the inquiring mind, wants to know:  Is there a love relationship from the past or present you wish you had handled differently? Would you prefer to be married, or do you like the independence of your life now?
Well, actually I think I would prefer to be married, but haven't been for 20 years now.  So I might have forgotten what it was really like.  My big regret is that the man who came along when I was in my 50s, a big tall cowboy who I loved, got drunk.  I could not stay with him as a drunk man, I tried for a year, and it just wouldn't work.  But it makes me sad almost every day.  He and I had the best relationship I have ever had.  We just adored each other, had fun together, worked together, and never had a harsh word.  We could talk things through.  But as a drunk, he is a disaster and I refuse to ruin my life with that.  

Pammie asks:  I would like to know if your siblings or children hold to the catholic faith as strong as you, but I don't want to do any anonymity breaking.

My brothers and sister are all Catholic.  Some of them are a bit more serious about it than others.  My kids were baptized when they were babies.  Unfortunately in their formative years, I was either drunk or newly sober and pretty preoccupied, I did not go to church for almost 25 years.  By the time I went back to church, my kids were teenagers and not interested.  I made them go with me for a while, but you know how that goes.  It is one the great regrets of my life.  

Oh my gosh, I will have to answer the other questions tomorrow.  

Thanks for asking!


Debbi said...

To speak to your first answer, in which you said "For a couple of reasons; we have totally lost our focus and our language has been watered down into nothingness by the treatment centers."

I had dinner last night with a woman who came into AA the same time I did. She stayed for 7 years, relapsed and returned to the program 3 years ago. She volunteered that meetings were very different for her this time around - everything's politically correct, no one challenges anyone's behavior or attitudes and she hasn't been able to find community, as there was when we got sober together.

I'm going to one very structured meeting a week and it's working for me, so I don't see the issues she does. But it's interesting - and sad - that you do. I pray AA will still be here if our grandchildren need it.

Syd said...

Thanks, MC. I hope that there are those who are serious about AA, as you are, to keep it going without getting watered down. Those meetings that focus on steps, traditions, Big Book seem to do well about keeping the BS to a minimum.

Lou said...

I'm sorry to hear that about AA, as I take it to extrapolate to NA.

I wonder if the internet/forums/blogs etc play into that. Divisive opinions, intolerance, name calling are magnified online. I can read ONE person's blog and get all in a snit. I start thinking that is many people's opinion, and must defend my POV. Before all this "information" people maybe would have just found another meeting.

Personally, I'm coming to a point where I want to spend more time face to face with like minded people, as opposed to arguing online.

PS I hope you find a life partner. You have a lot to give in a relationship.

Annette said...

I loved reading your answers MC. I am sad to hear your thoughts on AA though. I agree, but I keep hoping that the rooms will rally around and keep a hold of their honor and their virtue for being what they are....a place where people can find a Higher Power and an answer to what ails their souls.

My question, if it isn't too late...I thought I had read awhile back in your blog, that you had become an ordained something or other? lol If I have that correct, what is your title and what led you to pursue that?