I am going to go out and run in the dark this morning. I need to get to work on time, I also need to get my exercise to keep some small semblance of sanity. I did sleep a full night, thankfully.
Things have gone from very bad to worse at work. It is extremely difficult to just show up today. I wish I could run away. But I won't. The idea of digging out of a huge hole of trouble is difficult for me. Since I got sober, I have scraped away at the surface dirt, to keep from digging a hole of trouble. I didn't dig this hole at work, but I am laboring intensively to keep the whole organization from caving in around it. Maybe it needs to implode. But I think about the people, the people. Not the stinking employees who created this mess, but the people who have no where else to go.
I keep thinking about "It's a Wonderful Life" and that bank examiner who showed up on Christmas Eve.
I will try to see what I can bring to the situation today. I need some time off, and some care for me. That is not going to happen. So I have to see how I can care for someone else today. And I need to remember that I am in the loving care of God, no matter how it feels right now.
"Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 3