Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday Morning

"Two men look through the self same bars, one sees the mud, and one sees the stars."

I had to memorize that in high school. I just looked for it online so that I could cite the author. I can't even find the exact quote. But it is as I recall it. So, I am going to tell you what wonderful things happened yesterday, although it really was pretty dreadful. I do this not to delude myself, but because I must find the small nugget of good to take away from situations. I must do this.

Instead of driving my daughter to court for a custody hearing where she would have heard herself be utterly rubbished, my daughter's friend drove her to a hospital, where they admitted her. They put her on a 72º hold - sorry, can't help but use that degree sign wherever possible - the degree sign is a medical abbreviation for "hour." My daughter is on a 72 hour mental health hold. She is totally out of control. Her former husband called it "amphetamine psychosis," and although I don't usually put much credence in what he says, this time I think he nailed it.

When she called me demanding that I come and pick her up immediately, I calmly told her that I had many things to do and wouldn't be able to pick her up. She got angry and hung up on me. And wouldn't take a call from me later in the day. And I tell you honestly I have never been so happy to have someone refuse to talk to me.

When I decided that I needed to tell my boss what was going on, he surprised me. No matter what I have ever thought of him, and I have thought plenty of things about him, yesterday that changed. When I said my daughter was on a hold, his entire demeanor changed, he very kindly told me how sorry he was. He asked me if I needed to take time off. I told him I had too many things to do, and he just told me not to worry about it, to take all the time I needed. I can't adequately convey what this means to me. Not just the ability to take some time off if I need, but his showing care and concern.

I did come home from work because all I was doing was sitting in my office talking on my cell phone. I had a long conversation with my former husband, now the custodial guardian of my grandchildren. I offered my support to him. He doesn't really need me right now, because my other two children are really going all out to help him. How good does that make me feel? Very. Very. Very.

My sponsor, whose daughter is serving a life sentence for murder, could offer me support like no one else possibly could. My friend Larry called and told me how he had to throw his 40 year old son out of his house and call the police the night before because his son was crazy on meth.

I went to an AA meeting and sat and listened to the newcomers - seeing the light come on in their eyes gave me fresh hope. A man with 8 days of sobriety said "it gets better every day." A drunk lady interrupted and said "really? every day?" and he answered her "yes, every day."

And then, I went to a beauty super store and got new nail polish! I soaked my feet while I was talking on the phone for an hour or so... then I gave myself a pedicure.

I am running super late for work now, but I am going to go out and take a quick 2 mile run, and then I will throw on some "casual Friday" duds and get to work.

Thanks for reading this long ass thing, and thanks for your prayers and concern.


Syd said...

I'm glad that your daughter is where she needs to be. And I'm glad that you are taking good care of yourself. Having a boss who understands is good. It all sounds good to me. Even when things appear to be awful, I learn so much, perhaps even more than when things are going smoothly.

kel said...

I am glad to hear your daughter is at least ina safe place for the moment, and that you took some time for you and soaked your feet and made them pretty!! Keeping you all in my prayers.


Anonymous said...

No, Thanks for writting that long ass thing. I saw all 12 steps in there MC. Your experience, strenth and hope inspires me.

dAAve said...

Bless you.
And your family. All of them.

Take a day or 2 off from work next week. Just for you.

Gwen R said...

It is amazing how another persons care and concern can change how they come off. In other words I get what you meant about your boss.

Glad your sponsor has what you need. God is cool that way. Hooking us up with what and who we need.

Luv ya MC~

Kathy Lynne said...

Amazing how the blessings show up even when on the surface it doesn't seem so. Thank you for sharing a powerful moment in your life.

Banana Girl said...

You and your pretty toes out there running, just what you need just at the right time. Funny how this all works, no? You are in my thoughts and prayers as is your daughter. Comfort and safety then peace. All I ask is what has so freely been given to me. And you know that He is listening. I do too. Hugs and foot rubs, oh sherpa! Jeanne

Bouncing off the Bottom said...

I'm so glad your daughter is where she is. And I'm so glad you still went for a run. I have what I call my "sacred gym time" every day. It's a big part of my sobriety. Blessings to you and your daughter.

veganmama said...

Thank you for continuing to share your experience, strength, and hope. I enjoy reading your blog, and it's been instrumental in my own early sobriety (I had six months on Wed. and I've been following your blog since the beginning).

Zane-nawwaa said...

Sounds like God is walking you right through this rough patch. Your boss, your sponson, your frinds and family. Blessings are popping up all over. I agree with Daave, take a couple of much needed time for JUST YOU. Luv ya.

Willa said...

You can write as much as you darn well please, Mary Christine. Thanks for sharing this with us today.

I hope your daughter soon has that lightbulb/spiritual awakening moment.


Scott W said...

That, my friend, is the program in A-C-T-I-O-N! You are proof it works. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Pam said...

Thinking, freting and praying for you.
A lot. A whole lot.

Scott said...

before I get under way today, I will spend a lil time with the Lord and ask for His blessings for you, your daughter her kids...

love ya gal!

Z Mascota said...

new here, found you via a google search...i have been through some pretty intense stuff with my daughter: at 16 she quit hs, had a boyfriend who put her in the hospital 2x, drug use, pregnancy, and so on. For whatever it's worth, i feel and share your pain.

i have one week sober.

Anonymous said...

"Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars."
- Frederick Langbridge, 1849 - 1923
in "A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts" published by the Religious Tract Society [Sight]

Another quote from him:

Oh, some seek bread-no more-life's mere subsistence,

And some seek wealth and ease--the common quest;

And some seek fame, that hovers in the distance;

But all are seeking rest.
- [Rest]

found it here:
-Dave in Maryland