"Two men look through the self same bars, one sees the mud, and one sees the stars."
I had to memorize that in high school. I just looked for it online so that I could cite the author. I can't even find the exact quote. But it is as I recall it. So, I am going to tell you what wonderful things happened yesterday, although it really was pretty dreadful. I do this not to delude myself, but because I must find the small nugget of good to take away from situations. I must do this.
Instead of driving my daughter to court for a custody hearing where she would have heard herself be utterly rubbished, my daughter's friend drove her to a hospital, where they admitted her. They put her on a 72º hold - sorry, can't help but use that degree sign wherever possible - the degree sign is a medical abbreviation for "hour." My daughter is on a 72 hour mental health hold. She is totally out of control. Her former husband called it "amphetamine psychosis," and although I don't usually put much credence in what he says, this time I think he nailed it.
When she called me demanding that I come and pick her up immediately, I calmly told her that I had many things to do and wouldn't be able to pick her up. She got angry and hung up on me. And wouldn't take a call from me later in the day. And I tell you honestly I have never been so happy to have someone refuse to talk to me.
When I decided that I needed to tell my boss what was going on, he surprised me. No matter what I have ever thought of him, and I have thought plenty of things about him, yesterday that changed. When I said my daughter was on a hold, his entire demeanor changed, he very kindly told me how sorry he was. He asked me if I needed to take time off. I told him I had too many things to do, and he just told me not to worry about it, to take all the time I needed. I can't adequately convey what this means to me. Not just the ability to take some time off if I need, but his showing care and concern.
I did come home from work because all I was doing was sitting in my office talking on my cell phone. I had a long conversation with my former husband, now the custodial guardian of my grandchildren. I offered my support to him. He doesn't really need me right now, because my other two children are really going all out to help him. How good does that make me feel? Very. Very. Very.
My sponsor, whose daughter is serving a life sentence for murder, could offer me support like no one else possibly could. My friend Larry called and told me how he had to throw his 40 year old son out of his house and call the police the night before because his son was crazy on meth.
I went to an AA meeting and sat and listened to the newcomers - seeing the light come on in their eyes gave me fresh hope. A man with 8 days of sobriety said "it gets better every day." A drunk lady interrupted and said "really? every day?" and he answered her "yes, every day."
And then, I went to a beauty super store and got new nail polish! I soaked my feet while I was talking on the phone for an hour or so... then I gave myself a pedicure.
I am running super late for work now, but I am going to go out and take a quick 2 mile run, and then I will throw on some "casual Friday" duds and get to work.
Thanks for reading this long ass thing, and thanks for your prayers and concern.