Another sponsee had just texted and asked if I had gotten her text yesterday - the one that told me she was celebrating her 3rd birthday today. Well, no. If I had, I would have been there. What the hell kind of way is that to ask your sponsor to come to your birthday meeting - unless you don't really want her to come? I called her and tried to keep it to "I" messages - but that soon disintegrated when she started screeching at me about how she "tried" and how could I be "mad" at her, bla bla bla. I don't think I am interested in doing this. There are actual alcoholics who are actually interested in recovery from alcoholism who may be appreciative of some help with that. I don't think I need to waste my time with someone who is doing something that I don't even understand.... but doesn't involve following any direction or taking any actual steps as written in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. She actually talked about the "extra stuff" I wanted her to do... I told her that "extra stuff" was the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.... and she might want to do it if she would like to stay sober.
Oh, God bless us all. How we stay sober is a mystery.
Really, it is. I know a lot of you think you know the secret recipe. But hang around AA for long enough and you will see folks like the woman I just talked about who will stay sober and others who work their asses off get drunk.
I sure don't know. But I do know that I am not going to work harder on someone else's sobriety than they are. That just is not going to happen.
So, I will now lay my weary head down to sleep. Tomorrow I will be up at 4 to go to church before work. And a long day at work. And a meeting at 8 p.m. - which is crazy late for me.
I am so grateful for willing and wonderful sponsees that make it seem like a pleasure to work with them. I must focus on that. Must, must, must. And I am so grateful for my sponsor, who is a wonderful woman who has been willing to share her sobriety with me. What a blessing. I guess if you don't know what that is, there is no way to explain it. But I will thank God for it.