At four and a half years of sobriety, I hit a new bottom. The bottom in sobriety was worse in many ways than my drunken bottom. It was raw, it was painful, it was real. The solution, to me, was elusive. I had no clue. It was different than "I drink too much, this is awful, I think I shall stop." This was "I am in horrible pain, I don't drink, I am pedaling as fast as I can doing everything I am told to stay sober and do what I am supposed to do, and still I am feeling horrible!" It is a bad feeling.
I didn't realize I was still living on self-will.
I was "working my ass off" to stay sober.
When you are "working your ass off" there is no room or need for the Grace of God.
If not for the crisis of suicidal depression, in sobriety, without medication, I might not have surrendered to the loving will of God. When I stopped running the world, I found it was a much nicer place. When I let go of ALL of my old ideas, life changed dramatically. I could not have forced those changes, I had to let God bring them about in and for me.
And this is why you will never hear me say "keep coming back, it works IF YOU WORK IT." holy crap. or "so WORK IT CUZ YOU'RE WORTH IT."
It works, in spite of me. My best efforts got me in a big enough mess to be willing to turn it over to God. That is what the best of my ability got me.
So, please, do keep coming back...