I sat down to post last night but checked my e-mail first. I was so happy to see an e-mail from a woman I knew from the Biblical School. She moved away after the first year and a half, but we have stayed in touch. When I opened it and saw the opening line "Hello Mary, this is Susan, Dee's friend. We met one day outside the Ulta store in Lakewood...." I had a sinking feeling. And sure enough, the next sentence informed me of Dee's death. It was skimpy on details, so I don't know when and I don't know how. But I do know that Dee is OK - in the best possible way. She was one of those women who would fool you. She just looked like an ordinary woman in her 60s. She even struck me as a little bit grumpy the first time I met her. But then I talked with her and discovered this incredibly wonderful spiritual person. Her stories would often raise goose flesh or bring tears to my eyes. She was the most amazing person. A truly religious AND spiritual person AND a hospice nurse. I am saddened that I shall never see her again on this side, but I can strive to be more like her so that we may meet again on the other.
I have been crying on and off about this. My morning prayer and meditation ended up being my morning sob session. I am crying now.
Once again, I am struck by this permanence. This randomness. This lack of knowing.
This absolute need to be kind in every moment of my life to every single person in my life. I never know how I may impact another. I never know when it might be the last time I will talk to another.
Maybe Dee knew she was sick. The last time she wrote to me she told me how kind I had been, and how I put my words into action (oh, please, I hope so), she thanked me for sharing in such an open way with our small group at Biblical School, and many other kind things. I wrote back and told her how much she had meant to me. I am glad. I have that closure. Most of the time I don't.
OK, gotta dry these tears and get out there and and work out for four hours. I was going to write about the chiropractor, but I gotta go!
Let's all stay sober today, OK?