Thursday, July 29, 2010

Despondency

I wrote the other day about loving my job. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. Today was as bad a day as I have ever had there. There is no point in going over the details. I can tell you though that I share a lot of the responsibility for what is going on. And I can tell you that I shut my office door and cried for quite a while.

I reflected on the fact that someone I am close to at work said about someone else very recently "she cries too much! you just can't do that at work!" and I agreed. But I cried today. I have cried a lot in the last year.

When I got home from work there was a nasty horrible comment on an old post of mine. I thought "why do I do this?"

I got on my treadmill and ran 6 miles. Thank God I can do that. I am still covered with sweat from that little endeavor.

I will take a bath and go to bed.

I know that no matter what, tomorrow is another day. It may be bad, it may be good, but it will not be July 29, 2010. I already gave this day my best shot.

A friend from work called tonight and we talked. Isn't it nice when you know that someone cares? It really makes all the difference in the world. I try to always be mindful of that - and tonight I got to be on the receiving end of it.

"We can believe that God is in His heaven and that He has a purpose for our lives, which will eventually work out as long as we try to live the way we believe He wants us to live. It has been said that we should 'wear the world like a loose garment.' That means that nothing should seriously upset us because we have a deep abiding faith that God will always take care of us. To us that means not to be too upset by the surface wrongness of things, but to feel deeply secure in the fundamental goodness and purpose in the universe." -- Twenty-Four Hours a Day, July 16 Thought for the Day.

12 comments:

dAAve said...

Sorry you had a bad day. I guess it just happens.
You go back and check old posts?

Syd said...

Hang in there MC. Tomorrow is another day.

Mary Christine said...

I have comment moderation for posts over 14 days old.

And thanks.

Anonymous said...

"deeply secure" ... what a wonderful, healing truth. My HP does not change and I am secure in that, needed that reminder. Thanks. Tomorrow IS another day, thank GOD!

Hope said...

I hope tomorrow will be an easier day. A Sister once told me that tears are a form of prayer.

shadowlands said...

It will be a better day today!! Thank you for your love and support here on blogland.

By the way, which post is the nasty comment on?? ( I'm jokin! I'm jokin! Just being a nosey alkie, you know wot we're like)!!

For my sins, I am about to enter my fourteen year old's bedroom for a massive tidy up and rearrangement of er er well gadgets and clothes and paper and piles of everything!

I may be gone some time........

Pam said...

Mary, I think our crying jags are always mixed in with a lot of prayer. Maybe you just needed some "cry prayin'"
Now, on the other hand...if someone is making you cry, please send me their name and address.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

good thought to end on! :)

((((((HUGE HUGS)))))))

Mary LA said...

I'm sorry you had such a bad day and I hope tomorrow is better.

Carverlane said...

I care, Mary. I really do. And that was a wonderful thought for the day.

Kim from sAn Antonio

Scott said...

Sometimes days like that happen and we react how we react. I'm glad a friend from work came talked and cares :-) That really helps, when someone who knows what's up can empathize.

I love that thought for the day.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for blogging. Happy Anniversary. I was feeling a bit down today and this was surprising me. I found myself googling "why am I sober" and I got your site! I read a lot of your posts and they made me feel a lot better. Kind of like why I went to the bar... to talk to a stranger so that I wouldnt have to admit I don't feel great. THANK YOU FOR POSTING. I find it hard to pick up the phone sometimes. I am now getting ready to go to an evening meeting. (I loved hearing about the people you got sober with and your club and your daughter getting sober and your trips to the yarn shop. I love your photos. Thanks for your experience strength and hope.