Saturday, February 18, 2012

Course of Disease

This morning I went to a meeting.  By half way through, I was so discouraged, I felt like leaving.  Then one of my old friends came in and sat next to me.  He asked me what the topic was and I had to say "f*** if I know."  He laughed and said "I miss you Mary!"

I guess if someone had to say what the topic was, it would be slipping, using marijuana while "sober," slipping some more, drinking, drinking, using drugs, and drinking.  I felt like asking if anyone in the room was sober.

Then a man I have known for a long time opened his mouth and I had to thank God for him.  He talked about STAYING SOBER!  He talked about STEPS!  He talked about the PROGRAM of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Then he called on an older woman who also talked about staying sober and a spiritual program of action called Alcoholics Anonymous.

Do you know that I came to Alcoholics Anonymous a hopeless drunk.  You guys made some suggestions and I followed them.  On my second day of sobriety, I got on my knees and asked God to relieve me of this need to drink.  I literally felt it leave.  After eighteen years of daily drinking, it left me.  And it literally has never returned.

Oh, I have had my moments.  My sobriety hasn't been a smooth line of happy living.  But it has been sober.  I have had a few moments of temptation over the years, but they were quickly gone - when I did what you suggested - I prayed and reached out for another alcoholic.

People do get sober in Alcoholics Anonymous, and they stay that way.  It can be a "normal" course of this disease.  It can and does happen every single day.

For anyone who is sober, can we please think about what our message is at meetings?  It might feel good to say cute things like "we don't shoot our wounded," but seriously, we have the means to keep them from being wounded in the first place.  Wouldn't it be kinder to pass that on?

This program works.  People recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.  Recover.

There is a book that describes exactly what we did.  It is called simply "Alcoholics Anonymous."  Read it - the black on the white, between the capital letters and the periods.  And then do what it says.

Somewhere in there, it says:

"It works, it really does." -- p. 88

Thank God.


7 comments:

dAAve said...

I got it.

Debbi said...

Amen.

Pammie said...

Thank you mymary.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

absolutely ... thank God!

Patty said...

Thanks Mary, I walked out of a "meeting" scratching my head the other night too, wondering what the heck just happened in there? Nice to know I am not alone.
Patty

Syd said...

I like it when you curse.

Anonymous said...

i have been sober for 7 months and it has been both wonderful and really sad, i have gone through stuff that i would not imagine but i have not picked up that drink, i have been reading your blogs and they keep me going, thank you.