Saturday, February 11, 2012


Blogging while upset (BWU) has never proven to be a good idea, but I am going to do it this morning.  

I am considering not going to my running group just to avoid ugly confrontation.  

We are devoting today's run to a woman who was killed while running (I'm not adding her name so I don't come in searches).  It was a tragedy, it sounds like she was a wonderful woman.  I am all for running in her honor.

But what has got me really upset is that they are framing this as a "reminder about safety."  Really?  Someone (an organization dedicated to running women) posted on facebook yesterday that women shouldn't run alone.  Shouldn't run with headphones. Shouldn't run in remote places.  Shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't.  

To me this suggests that this woman would still be alive if she had only done a few simple things.  Like change the whole way she lived.  That it is really her fault for being on a remote road alone.  Like that would be too great a temptation and would virtually ensure her murder.  

I feel like asking "Have you ever been abducted and raped?"  Well, I have.  And every time I hear these reminders about safety, I wonder - why can't we get rapists off the streets instead of telling women to live in fear?  

When a man is murdered, we don't tell men to stay inside and not subject themselves to this dangerous world!  

I wonder if I can go to my run without getting into an argument.  This stuff really brings out some strong passion in me.  Most things I can just let roll of my shoulders, but not this.  

I will go back to my prayer chair this morning and pray for a while and see if I get some divine intuition.  

I could use a prayer or two.  I don't care how long ago my past is, it still creeps up and slaps me in the face from time to time.  

Thank you.


Anonymous said...

I totally get it Mary. I get the post traumatic stress too. We never know when it will rear it's ugly head, but we can never let the bad guys win and walk (or hide) in fear.
Saying an extra prayer for you today :)

Syd said...

MC, I hear you and wish that the world were different. The truth is that most women do to have the physicality to fight off a man. Some men don' t have that strength either which is why so many killings occur. I do believe in taking precautions. There are many sick people out there. I do think that some caution is needed.

dAAve said...


Anonymous said...

I also run and I know about the story you are referring to. When I run I always bring pepper spray, my cell phone and never wear headphones and I think all runners should do that whether they are male or female. I think the purpose of today is to run in honor of her memory and to pray for her family.

Grace-WorkinProgress said...

Maybe your mad because it gives the attackers more power over our lives.

Bad things happen even with the best precautions. The precautions just make us feel safer.

It is unproductive to think the if only's when something has already happened. We live by grace.

Run like the wind.

Anonymous said...

Mary Christine, I get angry about women being blamed for rape and murder too. And I'm saying a prayer for your today.

atomic momma said...

Mary Christine....I am sorry you were subjected to one of the worst violence women can experience. I can't imagine where one begins working past that. But I am so thankful for you and who you are and that you didn't let it define you or destroy you.

I will dedicate my meditation and prayer tonight to how you are feeling. I promise.

Mary LA said...

Oh Mary Christine, you and I have been here so often. I get you.

Out here in South Africa in 2011, a woman was raped every 17 seconds. It is estimated that a woman born in South Africa has a greater chance of being raped than learning how to read. One in three of the 4,000 women questioned by the Community of Information, Empowerment and Transparency said they had been raped in the past year. A survey conducted among 1,500 schoolchildren in the Soweto township, a quarter of all the boys interviewed said that 'jackrolling', a term for gang rape, was fun. More than 25% of South African men questioned in a survey admitted to raping someone; of those, nearly half said they had raped more than one person, according to a new study conducted by the Medical Research Council.

Women get raped if they cover themselves from head to toe. They get raped if they only go out in crowds. They get raped even if they do nothing to attract male attention or provoke men or show all the caution they can manage. A woman cannot be invisible enough to stop a man from raping her.

I don't know how long it takes for people to understand that rape is about the sick violent fantasy going on in a rapist's head and has NOTHING to do with the woman.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I am praying with you for God to reveal more of himself in all circumstances!


Have you ever noticed that the things emoto-blogged about get the most diverse reactions?

ScottF said...

You make some excellent, strong points MC... While I cannot personally relate, what you say makes complete sense. I only hope that your irritation didn't last long enough to blow much of your day :-)