|Viewing the present through the past|
And as I sat there, I thought about the e-mail from my ex-husband I had seen on my phone while I was walking to the rally. I have stayed in touch with him over these last almost 20 years since our divorce. I think it made sense to me at one point, but maybe I am ready to say - hey dude, you terrorized me for years, you stole my life savings, you broke four of my bones, in three different incidents. I really have no interest in chatting with you or getting your latest "FWD: FWD: fwd: FWD: Forward, Fwd: FWD:" e-mail.
When we divorced, it was important to me to keep it on good terms. That is always my preference. But is there any reason to be on good terms with someone like that?
Every boyfriend I have ever had in these last twenty years has had an "issue" with this. Including the current one.
But I don't take kindly to a man who wants to tell me who I ought to keep in touch with. I learned that was a bad sign many years ago, and I won't go down that road again.
Now my own soul tells me I am having an "issue" with this.
I hope I can get used to discussions about these things that still seem to be able to turn me into a bowl of jello, a weeping bowl of jello. And yes, I have written inventory on this over the years.
I am grateful tonight that by the Grace of God I stayed sober through those years. And that I am sober now. And that I live in a nice little house that is mine. And have a nice little bed with clean, crisp, white cotton sheets where I will lay my head tonight - without worrying about where my purse is or how much cash is in it.
Thank you God.