Friday, February 17, 2012

Your will, not mine

This is the interior of the Cathedral taken just after Mass at noon the other day.  It is a beautiful old church, and every sound echoes in a very old church way.  My paternal grandmother used to take me to Mass in a church that felt like this.  For all I know, it was a tiny church, but to a child whose church was suburban and modern, it felt huge, old, and awesome with those acoustics.

I am working at home this morning and have a meeting at my old workplace this afternoon.  I have four days in a row that I don't have to wake up at 4 a.m.  I have always claimed to be an early-bird, but I am beginning to wonder because this schedule is really taking a toll on me.  In my old job, I never set the alarm because I knew I would be awake by 6 at the latest.  But now I wake to an alarm because I need to be on the bus by 6:15.  I will get used to it.

I got an e-mail from one of my sponsees the other day - it was a response to one of my Valentines poems.  She wrote "Roses are red, violets are blue, I am skinny, how about you?"  And then she told me about her new startup business selling some kind of weight loss scheme.  Holy crap.  Over the course of many years, I have loved this woman and spent untold hours with her - nursing her broken heart, listening to her life, etc.  And now she's trying to sell me a weight loss product?  It may take me another day or two to be able to get on the phone and talk to her about this.

Nothing is forever.  Much as I want it to be when it is good.  When I love someone, I hope that this will last until my dying day.  And I know a lot of that is a decision - a decision to love someone after they have offended, or done something I don't like, sometimes terrible things.

The bottom line is:  On a sunny day in 1984 (I don't really remember if it was sunny, but likely it was), I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understood Him.  I never took that decision back or changed my mind.  Therefore, things happen in my life that I don't expect.  Most of the time, the surprise is wonderful.  Sometimes it isn't.  But with God's Grace, I know that I can get through anything.

Who could ask for more than that?


dAAve said...

Maybe your sponsee started with someone she can trust. Boundaries with compassion, I always say.
Actually, I've never said that or even thought of it before. But it makes sense.

Annette said...

Well said dAAve.

Getting up at 4am would take a toll on anyone. Good Lord! Thats an "ungodly" hour. ;o) Sleep late all 4 days!!

Anonymous said...

Dear MC, if I sleep past 4:30 am, I feel I've wasted the day. But I could get used to sleeping till 5:30 am!

The church is beautiful..perfect it is so close.

Syd said...

I don't want to have that kind of schedule. I like being up at night and sleeping in until 6:30 or 7:00.

Maybe the sponsee is trying to start a business--Tradition 7. You don't have to buy. I like that I can say No without feeling bad.

Have Myelin? said...

Or, maybe the sponsee is so broke she is really trying to start a business... and doesn't want anyone to know how bad things are at home. Things are not always what they seem, I've learned.

Beautiful church.

Word verification has been horrible across the blogsphere. ARGHHH...

Pammie said...

From one early riser to another...soon we will have to go to bed by 7:00pm just to get enough rest. hee hee

Mary Christine said...

Pam, I have been to bed before 8 o'clock more times than not this week. Crazy!

Mary LA said...

I like the beauty of that church. And I've had someone newly sober come around with her boyfriend who tried to sell me insurance. Those lacking social skills need to be handled carefully.

How I hate these new words supposed to prove I'm not a robot. I can't read them clearly.