Wednesday

Getting to work before sunrise.  Yikes.

Today is my big meeting at work.  I work all month to get ready for this day.  And some of those days are so intense I don't know if I can really handle them.  My boss tells me it will get easier, but a lot of that is outside of my scope of control.  In this cycle are some very short turn-arounds.  I think they were designed for a 30 year old mind, not one twice as old.  It doesn't help when I don't get the data on time or when it is utter shit that has to be completely reworked - which was the case this month (and last month come to think of it).

Lately I have to convince myself that I have many many good things to bring to the table besides a razor sharp 30 year old brain.  I have years of experience and mellowness that comes from years of having the sharp edges knocked off me.

Yesterday my boss was complaining about how irregular baseball practice is for her step-kid and how it is ruining her life.  She was cussing and emoting all over the place about that.  The only thing I had to share was that I had heard from my son and he is leaving Afghanistan in 12 days.  The joy that brought me made a tiny tear spring to my eye.  She looked at me with wide eyes - literally, her eyes got really wide.

So today it is 11 days.  And my nephew left already.  Oh, thank you God!!!!!

I got phone calls from my former work place all day yesterday.  They are going through the triennial event that was almost my whole reason for being.  I prepped them as well as I could when I left, but they had forgotten.  And in the panic of the moment, they were missing me terribly.  I sat at my new desk and cried, I had to go to the bathroom and get over that.  I was SO GOOD at that job!  I hope to God that some day I will feel as good about my performance at my new job.

My feelings got hurt on this blog yesterday, I am still coming to terms with that.  So, don't unload a bunch of advice on me today, OK?  I am really not feeling well and don't need it.

I will share Dave's sentiment - I know I am not going to drink today - and that is a miracle.  Thank you God!