Now, that's a happy topic, eh?
I went to a meeting of my home group tonight. It was an outstanding wonderful and heart warming meeting. And I cried through it. I tried to remember the last time I cried through a meeting and frankly I think the answer may be "never".
Last week I was griping about the yuppies at this group. Tonight I loved them. A young guy with almost 6 months read the promises. He is a guy with a name like "Chipper" I am not going to say his name because it is so unusual it might identify him. He had on a pastel colored Izod shirt with the collar turned up and his sunglasses propped on his blonde head(everything old is new again). He read the promises with such earnestness, I felt like I was hearing them for the first time. Another lady was celebrating 60 days. God, I remember those days. The good and bad old days.
When I started talking about how much I miss my sponsor, I broke down and cried. I NEVER do that! I just cried. But I was able to say that by the Grace of God and the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I may be sad that my sponsor moved away, but I do not want to drink. I am not considering suicide. I am not acting in such a way that would get me admitted to an inpatient psychiatric unit. I KNOW, deep in my heart, that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and that it will be just fine. I will be just fine. No matter what happens. No matter how sad I am. No matter if I sit in a meeting with tears and snot dripping down my face.
When you start to really feel things, there is grief, and there is pain. But there is also incredible joy and love. I think there is more joy than there is pain.
I am so grateful to be sober. I am so grateful to have had this wonderful sober woman (my sponsor) in my life. I am also grateful that she isn't so far away that I can't start planning a trip to go see her.