I went to the Morning After group this morning. It was my home group for years and years. It was good to be sitting there. With people I have known and who have known me for years. As I am talking about my children, there are people there who actually remember my kids when they WERE kids. That's more comforting than a plate of mashed potatoes!
Dutch was there. I haven't seen him for years. He was saying that the MFs at San Quentin told him he wouldn't live to 30. And here he is 70 years old, and sober 35 years. He said he can't even tell them they were wrong because they are all dead. He said he will have to tell them when he dies. I miss those crusty old guys. When I said in the meeting that I hadn't seen him for years, he just cross-talked over me and said "you aint goin' to the same meetings I am." The AA I got sober in was so rough and rude and crusty. And I loved it. I miss those good old days with Ed with his knife and Walt with his gun. I was a housewife, but a drunken housewife, and somehow I felt more comfortable with those lunatics than I had felt in years. And Tim spinning records at the dances. And dancing with him.
Did I mention that I have a migraine this morning? Well, I do. I don't feel well at all. All I want to do is go back to bed. But tomorrow is my sweetie granddaughter's birthday and I have to get my present across town to her.
My son is still stuck in Idaho due to weather. I just got off the phone with him. He will be leaving Denver on Thursday and I don't know if I will get to see him after that - for a year and a half. Oh crap. No wonder my head feels like it is about to explode.
Thank God for AA, the fellowship, and the simple things I can do each day to keep me from going off the deep end.
"Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
May God bless you and keep you - until then." Alcoholics Anonymous p. 164