Sunday, March 25, 2007


I don't know why I am thinking of this at this moment, but I am. Last week I was at a meeting with one of my very new sponsees. Someone mentioned a (big yawn) acronym for fear, and I was amazed when my sponsee took out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote it down! Well, then I realized that not everyone has heard these things. So let me see how many I can come up with right now. Fear seems to be the big one:
False Evidence Appearing Real
Fuck Everything And Run
Face Everything And Recover
Frantic Efforts to Avoid Reality
Frantic Efforts to Avoid Rejection
Off the top of my head, that is it. And it is quite enough if you ask me! Oh, and did you know that if the initials do not spell a word, such as FEAR, or a famous acronym is SCUBA (self contained underwater breathing apparatus), it is not an acronym but an "initialism."

So, back to reality here... Yesterday my daughter called to let me know that her boyfriend is going to provide the money she needs to resolve the warrants and get into the rehab. She should be going into rehab on Monday. She called later to tell me that they (she and boyfriend) had gone through her apartment and destroyed all the pipes and syringes. Oh please dear Lord, let her get into rehab on Monday.

Yesterday was a beautiful rainy day. I went for a 7 mile run and felt great. There is something so nourishing to the soul in being outdoors in a cold spring rain. (I took the picture at left with my cell phone during my run... I thought it would be way prettier than it is.) After an hour, I actually had little puddles inside the pockets of my parka. In the afternoon another alcoholic came over and I cooked and we watched basketball and just lounged around. It was so restful and just the thing I needed.

This morning, I am off to church since I didn't go last night. My daughters may or may not be coming over for dinner today. I am looking forward to a nice day, regardless of what it brings.
"It is when we try to make our will conform with God's that we begin to use it rightly. To all of us, this was a most wonderful revelation. Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God's intention for us. To make this increasibly possible is the purpose of AA's Twelve Steps, and Step Three opens the door." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 40


Scott said...

oh man, willpower, boy don't get me started, mine's ugly loL! I took an evening walk in a warm srping rain last week. Talk about feeling the presence of God... oh man.... a lil Alison Krauss on the MP3 as I was walking.. oh man yea.

I am going to pray in mass this morning for your girl. "For the prayers we hold in the depths of our hearts..." I am so glad she's geting the nudge from her guy and getting things squared up so she can get into rehab... willingness... I hope she has the courage to continue. God Bless y'all....
Oh, and you've been tagged.. it's a kool one!

Pam said...

FEAR = Few Ever Arrive Rejoicing
FEAR = Failure Expected And Received
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
FEAR = False Expectations Appearing Real
FEAR = Fear Expressed Allows Relief
FEAR = Feelings Every Alcoholic Rejects
FEAR = Fighting Ego Against Reality
FEAR = Forget Everything and Run (polite version)
FEAR = Fuck Everything and Run! (not recommended--it's what we used to do)
FEAR = Face Everything and Recover! (definitely recommended)
FEAR = Forgetting Everything's All Right
FEAR = Frantic Effort to Appear Real
FEAR = Frantic Efforts to Appear Recovered

Girl, you know I am thinking about your precious girl! My baby girl has 12 days today!!!

lushgurl said...

Hi MC...and more shall be revealed! I know, it's not an acronym, but something one of my sponsors would say to me often!

It would seem that your daughter is willing to face her fears today (re: paying the warrant) and I hope that it is Gods' plan for her to make it to rehab!
You both are in my heart and prayers XOX and HUGS