Sunday, March 18, 2007

Beautiful (almost) Spring Sunday Morning

Crocuses in the garden
Buds on a lilac bush.
It is a beautiful day. I woke up somewhat late and decided not to hop straight out of bed and get to a meeting as I usually do. I am taking it slow this morning. Yesterday after the meeting, I went to the lake and ran 10 miles. Running 10 miles can make a person tired.
I am trying to be cheerful here, but I just feel dishonest. I am feeling creeped out because I just got slimed again by the very ill person who is commenting and e-mailing most of us. I think many of you can just dismiss him as a "nut" and delete, delete, delete - and report as spam. Part of this stage of my recovery is that I no longer can label people as "toxic" or "nuts" or whatever. I used to get away with that, but I can't any more. In this man's case, I may have to make an exception. His tirades are particularly hurtful to me because I am, I hope, not only spiritual (which I learned in AA), but because of AA, I have been able to return to my religion and that is as much a part of me as my legs or arms, or my heart. Believe me, it requires discipline not to write about it a lot, because as most of you know if you read this blog often, I spend a lot of time at my church and it is a very important part of my life. So I try to mention these things in a general way...
I don't write about my specific religion here because this blog is about AA. Many people get to this blog as a result of searches for info on AA. I feel an obligation to stick pretty close to traditions because of that (although I think perhaps the entire blog is a violation of the 11th tradition). The long form of the 11th tradition states:
"Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think AA ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as AA members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 567
Back to the 10th tradition, the long form of which is:
"No AA group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate AA, express any opinion on outside controversial issues - particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 567
If I had named my blog "Mary's excellent adventures" or some other thing and hadn't identified myself as an AA member and said that this blog was specifically about that, I don't think I would worry so much about this. But I did. So I feel I have to be careful, just in case I damage one alcoholic's tiny little chance to get to AA and stay sober.
Okay, I am being Ms. Buzz Kill.... I have possibly had too much coffee (2 cups!!!) and I haven't eaten yet. I will eat and later I will get out in the sunshine and take a bike ride. I love the fact that because of my adherence with some commandments, I get to take the day off!!!
"We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things. We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 132


dAAve said...

Just like in most of the real world, there are 2 sides to most everything. You show the wonderful result of religion. The person to whom you refer shows "the other side." We are free to choose which we like or to choose neither.
I also don't feel in violation of the 11th Tradition. I am allowed to have an opinion on any issue and state that opinion as my own. It is not the opinion of AA any more than it's the opinion or stance taken by The Denver Bronocs.

Anonymous said...

I am so thankful you still allow anonymous comments here, Mary Christine, even throughout this person's negative feedback.

I read your blog almost every day. I thank God for AA and for people like you who are willing to share with us what you have. You are an inspiration. THANK YOU.

Willa - 395 days sober today.

Noor Azman Othman GBE said...

I've to agree with dAAve. Read the disclaimer at the bottom of my blog! It could be the opinion of New Zealand's All Blacks.

Happy Monday.

Christine said...

I personally haven't heard or seen any of the blogger comments you are speaking about.

I'm happy you are here as an inspiration for AA and people like me, friend of AA

Trudging said...


Pam said...

I have not been hit by this guy either. I think most of us really talk about OUR OWN UNIQUE experience with the different 12 step programs that we are involved in.
I think it is fine for him to talk about his experience too, but just on his OWN blog.
Having said that......your writting is inspiring for others, and don't change a thing!

lushgurl said...

YES, YES, YES to all of the above!
Yours was the first 'sober' blog that I had read. Then I clicked on a link and read another, and another again...
We are allowed to have opinions in the program as long as we express them as OUR opinions ( not AA's opinions)
I also think that if someone is saying or doing something that we find offensive or hurtful, then we have the right (if not duty) to not allow them into OUR space- isn't that part of taking care of self?
You are truly a remarkable woman and a great role model to me and others!
Love ya MC HUGS

Gwen said...

Be true to yourself. Always. I deleted the comments after getting a bit miffed myself. I had to pull it together and practice what I feel is right. I would not treat a sick person the way I wanted to treat this person and it is very clear they are sick. I found some peace in posting the 23rd psalm. Hope your morning prayers are going well. Have been crazy busy so I have not read all your posts.

This is my big MC ((((((HUG)))))) for the week.


Anonymous said...

One of my favorite quotes that I've heard in AA is religion is for people who don't want to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who don't want to go back to hell. Some times I meet religious people who seem to be in hell. My brother in law died of an oxycontin overdose. My sister finally asked him to leave after years of substance abuse. He died in his sleep shortly after she seperated from him. His mother who is what some may call a good christian woman told my neice that it was her fault and that she should have told her mother not to divorce her dad and that my niece should have been there to wake her father and if she had been there her father would still be alive and then she outed my sister and her own granddaughter out of the family! I love AA. My sponsor suggested that when I pray to ask my higher power what he'd have me be. I used to have moral and philoshical convictions galore but I could not live upto them even when I wanted to. My spiritual beliefs haven't changed at all. My spiritual conviction has. Thanks to the 12 steps of AA I have been taught to live it instead of talkin' about it. Thank you for your blog MC. I read it each night before I go to bed. I like to nourish my thoughts before I sleep on them. thanks for the spiritual nourishment! Snoogs