Let me preface this by saying; this will probably be a long and serious post... we'll see... Maybe I should start by telling a bit of my story. When I got sober, I had three small children; a 7 year old boy and 5 year old twin girls. When I brought them to a meeting with me, an old man called them names and told them to shut the f*** up. That was the end of me bringing them to meetings with me, which I later realized was a great blessing. (my opinion: Little kids do not need to be sitting in AA meetings, and dragging them to meetings may spoil a later chance for them to come willingly to AA when they need to, because if they are your kid, odds are they will need to...but I digress.) So, every day I would wait for my husband to get home from work, and then I would head out the door to an AA meeting. After we separated, I would pay a babysitter, even though I was poverty-stricken, and go to AA meetings. Later in my sobriety, I went for a couple of years without a car, so that I could afford to pay my child support (because my ex got custody of the kids when I was sober about 5 years). I had a bicycle and rode it to AA meetings. When I could not ride my bike for whatever reason, I rode the bus. Occassionally, I would get a ride with another alcoholic, but most of the time, I just got myself to an AA meeting by whatever means available to me - and I was happy to do it.
So - I just don't understand when someone can't get to a meeting. Or is "too tired" to show up when they are supposed to.
In my mind, if you are not willing to go to any length to stay sober, you are not going to stay sober. Right now I seem to be surrounded by new people who don't seem willing to go an INCH to stay sober. They act like they are doing someone a favor by staying sober for a day, going to a meeting, or making a phone call. No Comprende!
When I got to AA, I wanted to be sober more than anything in the world. I still do. I consider my sobriety to be a gift from God, one that requires a little bit of care and feeding. I am more than happy to do a teensy bit of legwork in an effort to keep it.
I am so grateful that my bottom was my own bottom. I didn't have a judge, or social services, or a husband - or anyone telling me that it was my bottom. When I got to AA I was ready and willing to get sober. I was out of great ideas. I did what they told me to do. I have always appreciated the time that another alcoholic would spend with me. I have never felt that anyone owed me anything. I consider it a gift! That is why you will never hear me talk about "the work," or "working the program." I just call that cooperating a little bit with God.
I guess I sound old and maybe the AA equivalent to "back in the day, I walked to school 2 miles - uphill both ways." But it is my very own experience, strength, and hope - and that is all I have to share with anyone.
"The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 115