It is pouring rain outside, which is wonderful. This spring is a revelation to me in every single way. I have truly never enjoyed a spring so very much.
My daughter did not get into rehab yesterday. She did show up, but they wouldn't let her in due to warrants. Her name will remain on the top of the list (for how long I don't know) while she hopefully gets this straightened out. I could write paragraphs about this, but the bottom line is - she still has to do more footwork to get in there. I pray she has the willingness.
Yes, this is difficult. She is a wonderful, loving, creative, intelligent, talented, athletic, and, of course, beautiful young woman. But right now, her whole person is overtaken by her disease. It is difficult to be a person in her life right now. But I am a person in her life, and I love her with all of my heart. So all I can do is be there to the extent that I can without adversely affecting my life and the lives of the other people in our family.
And I must never forget my own disease. It would love for me to forget, so that it could pry a finger hold back into my soul. I must take care of myself. I will get to a meeting this morning at 6:30 a.m., and get out for a run later, if it stops raining. I will talk on the phone with lots of alcoholics today and probably get to a meeting later on this evening.
Life is good. There is green everwhere outside and it is raining. It shows me that even in the dead of winter, there is life underground, waiting for its chance to re-emerge in the spring.
"The foundation stone of freedom from fear is that of faith: a faith that, despite all worldly appearances to the contrary, causes me to believe that I live in a universe that makes sense." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 51