Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Hope


This is sad, but I am using so many photos from last year.  It must have been a year ago today that I took this photo.  I was outside, walking.  Recovering still from my first marathon.  I saw this from across the street and loved the dead foliage, the yellow tomatoes, and the blue pot.

When I was in high school, I was required to memorize this line... I have no idea why.  But it has stuck with me all these years.  

Two men look out through the same bars, one sees the mud and one the stars.  - Frederick Langbridge

When I got sober, I had to learn to look at the stars instead of the mud.  I am a great mud-looker.  In fact, I made an early career out of it.  I was great at insurance - I could figure out what could go wrong with everything.  I still can drive down the road and visualize every single mishap that could happen.  It makes for a long drive.  

I am looking at another fork in my career right now.  It looks like there may be an opportunity in my future.  Maybe not too.  I am very hopeful that this opportunity will come to fruition and I can jump into another chapter in my life.  I am also thinking that it may not and I can see plenty of reasons to stay right where I am.  I am trying to focus on the positive in both alternatives.  

My life has not gone along smoothly like many people I have worked with who have retired at 50 or 55.  I am almost 60 and looking at another ten years of work before I can retire.  But the truth is, I do not want to retire.  In those early years while everyone else was working and saving money, I was not working and I was not saving money.  

I am grateful I am in good health and fairly vigorous.  I am grateful my mind is good.  I am grateful I like to work and don't consider this a death sentence.  

I am grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous and this way of life.  I am grateful that I found early-on that I could make what I want to of most every situation.  I am grateful I learned about living in the will of God, not mine.  

I think I will stay sober today and I hope you all do too.  




6 comments:

Syd said...

I am glad that you like what you do. And I hope that the opportunity presents itself so you and your HP can work it out. I have worked since I was a Sophomore in High School. It feels good to still do some work but not at the intensity of what I used to do. Another chapter for both of us, MC.

dAAve said...

I'm glad you pointed out that those are yellow tomatoes. I thought it was a pumpkin tree.

Keep trudging. Some roads have many forks and other utensils.

Lou said...

Like Syd I have been working since I was 16 years old. And I don't mind it really, but it is nice to cut back.

You just ran a marathon in Acadia, but you are only "fairly" vigorous. LOL

Steve E said...

I like that word 'vigorous' also. but you are SO much more, Mary. Keep it going until 70 is great goal.

Mary LA said...

I'm grateful to have work to do and a way to put bread on the table. By nature I'm optimistic but learned as a child to expect the worst, and the drinking darkened my outlook on life. Good to be able to get a clearer perspective now --

Pammie said...

I want to keep working, I just wish it was 4 days instead of 5. I really don't know why I have it in my head that this would be fabulous.