Thursday, November 17, 2011
Morning has broken
I am a morning person. I have been all my life. There was a brief period when I was married to my sober husband that I adopted his night owl hours. I discovered some of the attractions of those hours. After about 8 or 9 p.m., there was a certain freedom. I knew the phone was not going to ring, and no one was going to knock on the door. The mail was not going to come. No Fed Ex or UPS deliveries. I was asleep during the hours when responsible people should be able to respond. There was a certain freedom in that. Of course, at that time everything else was feeling oppressive and I feared most intrusions of the outside world... with good reason.
When I was trying to crawl out of the sickness of that relationship, I started getting up in the morning and going to bed at night. I always loved the morning, but I think I learned to relish it after living in the darkness for a while. Even after 20 years, I haven't forgotten how much I love being up with the sunshine and available and able to respond to life.
My disposition is different in the morning. I think it is a better time for me to write.
This morning I spent some time looking for an olympic distance triathlon (1 mile swim, 25 mile bike ride, 10K run) to register for next summer. That is my goal for the year I am 60 years old. I am excited about this. Should I go away somewhere exotic for this? Should I stay in Colorado? So many questions. So much excitement. So much gratitude for being healthy enough for this!
You know what else I am grateful for? The six month break I took from this blog. I was sick to death of it before I stopped. I was losing sleep over it! Every negative comment (I get lots of them, usually one a day) was eating at me. When I came back, I wasn't sure I was going to continue. I thought I would try it for 30 days. Well, I have loved it for the last six months. I enjoy reading your blogs. I enjoy the fellowship we share. I love writing and missed it when I was away. And the negative comments? I delete them and work to not think about them once they are gone.
OK, gotta hit the treadmill. And get to work.
God has such better plans for me than I have for myself. Left to my own devices, I would be a 2 pack a day smoker and hopeless alcoholic. And for a 60 year old woman, that is NOT ATTRACTIVE!