Thursday, December 22, 2011
Axis I Diagnoses
Alcohol Dependence, sustained full remission
Depression Major, recurrent, in partial remission
I took these straight out of my electronic medical record. I would not call what I have "alcohol dependence" but DSM IV does. In fact, if that was my choice - I would not even include it in a list of diagnoses. I have not had a drink for 27 years, I don't think I am dependent upon alcohol. I am still an alcoholic though, every single day of my life. The grace of God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous seem to keep this in "full remission."
Major Depression however, now that is something I don't think about often anymore. Because I found a way to keep it at bay without medications. That something was running. Also, eating well, avoiding white crap - like sugar and white flour - and sleeping well. Getting a bit of quiet time, and some social time. But really, I found the exercise to be the most important thing.
In recent years, my running has been a bit more like walking - race walking. It has worked well for me. It is fun, it is great exercise, and I thought it was sustainable into my 60s.
Then my foot started hurting. And it kept hurting. And no one knows what is wrong with it, although several doctors have suspected a stress fracture. But the MRI this week ruled out a stress fracture.
I have been two weeks without getting outside and getting some miles in. I have been swimming and spinning, but no miles.
I feel like crap. I feel unhappy and a bit irritable. My life seems like a mess. Absolutely nothing has changed except the lack of good exercise.
So, you may say "rest!" and think that is a good solution, but it is not working out so well so far. I am going to go out with my running group on Saturday and walk a slow 3 miles - probably in some new shoes. I will get out in the air and see my friends.
I have called myself "high maintenance," I really am. I have found a recipe that works for me. And right now one of the major ingredients is missing.
But like everything else, I will trust God and "put one foot in front of the other" metaphorically speaking. If you are so inclined, I could use a prayer or two.
Thank you, and God bless you.