Sunday, December 18, 2011
Last night I couldn't sleep. Thinking about the MRI. Thinking about what I have to wear that is cute but has no metal in it. Think about it ladies, this means no normal bra with hooks or underwires .... so I will wear some funky old sports bra I have. And I think a dress with leggings. If I were going alone, I would be wearing sweats and a t-shirt. But we are going out for breakfast after, and I can't go out for breakfast in sweats.
Then since the middle of the night is the best time for self-doubt to creep in, I thought about my interview on Friday. I thought about things I said, but particularly all the "ummmmmm, ummmmmm...." answers. Because almost every question she asked me caught me off guard. And that is probably not a good interview. Here is the good part about that -- I have a job. I don't even dislike it. I could easily spend the rest of my career there. Which is another reason for self-doubt. Why change everything up at this advanced age? It would take a whole other page to list the reasons, so I won't. But there are good ones... like the need for a challenge, and the need for a change.
But I won't be terribly unhappy if I find I don't get this job. I will probably be ecstatic if I do though.
OK, so this is the kind of thinking that spins around my mind in the night.
And now it is a new day. The sun will come up, and I will have my MRI over with in a couple of hours. I will get to have a nice breakfast with this man who impresses me more every day.
I know that God is "large and in charge," so it's going to be OK. No matter what.
I'm likely to stay sober today - and I hope you all do too.