Monday, December 19, 2011

Spinning...

I went to a 6 a.m. spin class this morning.  It will be my last for a while - the insanity of the holidays is upon us.  No class next week - and in January it will be crammed to the gills with the resolutioners.  I will need to stay away for a while because I am not good at dealing with huge crowds.

I only read a few blogs this morning, because I need to be at work right now and instead I am sitting in sweat drenched bike shorts and shirt.  I need to make this super quick.

The MRI yesterday was fine.  My head did not need to be in the tube, so I got to skip the whole claustrophobia thing.  It was nice to know the man was sitting outside in the waiting room - waiting for me.  I even let him keep my purse for me.

When we got to the place, it was 6:20 a.m.  There was only one person there.  A great huge black woman with orange hair.  She was yawning and complaining about how tired she was.  She started talking about her Christmas shopping and I responded to something.  She looked at me as if to say "Excuse me?  Was someone talking to YOU?"  And I realized she was talking to my boyfriend.  They had a great chat, and I sat looking at my phone.  She did most of the talking, and he listened attentively.  He does that well.  It was very heartwarming to me.

I am devoid of ideas this morning.  I think I am in survival mode.  I wouldn't say it is going to be a difficult week, because I will make every effort for it not to be.  But let me tell you, it is going to be an effort.

This phony family happiness crap is not my strong suit.  I have a lifetime of memories to deal with.  I have a fractured family that still has sharp edges that seem to get sharper at this time of year.  And I don't have to pretend it is something different.

It is what it is.   That is where I need to start.  And when you start from reality, you are more likely to have realistic expectations and plans.

I know that God will be with me every second of every day.  And that is really all I need.

11 comments:

AnyEdge said...

If someone responded to the woman I was with like that, I would not continue speaking to that person. I would admonish them, and then terminate the conversation.

"Excuse me, that was exceptionally rude. My girlfriend is part of all of my conversations when she's present. If you're speaking to me, you're speaking to her. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day."

And if my significant other were having a conversation and someone treated me that way, and they didn't remark on it, I'd be unhappy with them, and expect to have a conversation about it later. I won't tolerate rudeness to my partner, and I wouldn't expect them to tolerate rudeness towards me.

Syd said...

How important is it--re the woman talking to your friend? I lower my expectations as much as I can now. It does help. People are rude or they are kind or they are giving or they are misers or they are....a million things. And I can do nothing to change that. But I can be a positive person in spite of what others do. And I know that you are that way MC. You live positively in God's grace and light.

Mary Christine said...

Oh my goodness, Anyedge. Although I appreciate your chivalry, I would not have enjoyed that response at all. I had an ex-husband who behaved that way and it was so so so so so unpleasant. This was a clerk at the radiology clinic, and I could not care less if she didn't want to talk with me.

Anonymous said...

Watch out for huge black women, especially ones with red hair.

Annette said...

I hear you about the holidays MC and family "stuff." ((HUG)) Be yourself...thats all you can do and that is wonderful enough.

dAAve said...

Go forward.

Kathy said...

Good luck with your job interview.

AnyEdge said...

I wouldnt demand an apology or anything, just end the conversation. I don't like talking to rude people.

Jeremy said...

I'm hoping to stay out of survival mode and in to at very least present mode. I know we'll both get thorugh :)

Pammie said...

He held your purse???? KEEP HIM MARY...catch that man!!!
I'm so glad the test went well. I'm with you about realistic expectations about the family gathering stuff. It is what it is and I'm OK with that.

Profit Insiders said...

Very cool post. I just recently started following your blog, but I look forward to contributing more in the future.