Monday, December 12, 2011
Honestly, I have been sitting here for 10 minutes staring at this screen. I don't know that this has ever happened to me before. I have started writing a couple of things that are just simply complaining. I don't want to complain. So - here's what's good:
I got a birthday card from my brother - he said he was proud of me - and I believe him. If you knew our history, you would know what a miracle this is.
Those flowers are sitting on my dining room table, someone cared enough about me to bring them to me.
You will note that the lace tablecloth has been usurped for the month of December by this velvet table runner - it was a gift last year from my favorite psychiatrist. I <3 him.
It is a delightful thing to be a Broncos fan right now. I <3 Tim Tebow.
I have a job - I have taken cuts in pay for the last three years and will take another in July - but I still have a job.
There are no such things as debtors prisons in the United States of America. (I can still pay my bills, but the margin is getting slimmer every day and I am starting to worry.)
My sponsor is a wonderful woman and I got to talk with her last night. She always tells me she loves me and thanks me for sharing my life with her. I <3 her.
I had phone calls and text messages from women I sponsor over the weekend. They may drive me to distraction at times, but I <3 them.
My kids are all having challenges of different sorts right now. But none of them are legal problems. None of them are drug or alcohol related problems. They are just life problems. I <3 my kids (and grandkids).
My 60th birthday is this week. It is happy and sad. I realized that I will qualify for "senior" rate at the movies and that can never be a bad thing. But it is sad to know that so much of my life is gone. I had planned to run 6 miles to celebrate my birthday - just as I ran 3 to celebrate my 30th... but my foot will barely allow me to walk - slowly. I am still grateful that I am a person who takes no medications for blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc.
I am grateful most of all that God has graced me with another day of sobriety. Because no matter what else is going on, my sobriety is the most important thing. Because no matter what else is good in my life, it all turns to crap if I pick up a drink. And no matter what else is bad/scary about my life, I know it will be OK if I just trust in God and do the next right thing (thank God it is my left foot that is hurting).
So, I think I will stay sober again today, and my hope is that you do too. xoxox