There is a limit to how long I can stay unhappy, and I reached it today. I am terribly sorry that my friend is ill. I will continue to pray for her. I will continue to support her. I will continue to do whatever I can reasonably do for her. But I cannot stay in this state of unhappiness.
Work is overwhelming right now. Tomorrow is a day with major presentations - back to back. They are not all written yet. They will be though. I really must get to work early tomorrow, which means I must get to bed in a matter of moments.
Yesterday when I was just horribly unhappy, one of the men at work came to me with this silly solar powered flower to put on my window sill. I love this thing. I decided to take a movie of it today. Very very silly. And that is fine with me.
I feel like that last couple of months have been rich with lessons about every moment being meaningful. Every word, every action. Nothing unnoticed, nothing without a consequence. My friend who is in critical care said that when I told her I pray for her every day a couple of weeks ago it meant the world to her. Well, I do pray for her every day and I have for a long time. But when I said that, I didn't think it would mean a thing to her. Just like that bathroom in Colorado Springs - I didn't think my conversation with my daughter would be heard by a little girl who had just lost her mother. I feel like God has just noticed that I might be worthy of doing some work. I am honored, but a lot more comfortable with being an unreliable slacker.
I am in some serious need of frivolity. I don't think it will be coming, but I at least need some down time. I scheduled Friday off today. I have got to get some peace and rest.
And in all of this, I managed to get on the treadmill at 5 a.m. and put in 7 miles before I got ready for work. I have 53 more days to train for this marathon, and I have a feeling it is going to be hard. (Who knew training for a marathon would be HARD?)
Thank you for your kind comments over the last couple of days. They have been appreciated by me. :-)