Monday, September 19, 2011
I think I may have reached my limit with sponsoring people who want me to answer all their questions in life and want to call me at all hours with tearful, hysterical questions having nothing to do with program. I had to tell one woman that I am not a job sponsor. I don't know what she should do about her job. I told her she might consider that in all of her job situations, she is the common denominator - therefore, she might be the problem. If she wants to really look at that, I will be happy to help, but if she wants an ear to listen to what so-and-so said yesterday about this-and-that, I am not going to do this month after month. It is not productive - for either of us.
I had a similar conversation on Saturday with a sponsee who is much beloved by me. We have a long-standing relationship that means the world to me.
I asked her to please consider where she got the idea that long term sobriety meant that she should have tons of money, a great job, a great relationship, a shiny new car, etc. I understand that plenty of sober people do have those things, but plenty of people don't too. I don't think these things are an accurate gauge of the quality of a person's sobriety. In fact, I have known several people who have had those things and could not stay sober to save their lives - literally. If they had lost those things, they might have had a fighting chance.
We collectively love to idolize Bill W. and Dr. Bob, but I think we seldom consider who they really were. For one thing, they both smoked like chimneys, Bill W. died of emphysema. They were both poor as church mice. Bill W. was allegedly a terrible womanizer. Dr. Bob brought a Bible to every meeting he attended. I think if either one of these guys were to show up at an AA meeting today, they would be ostracized.
But, in spite of, or because of, their faults, God was able to work with them to do something that had never been done in the history of mankind. They were able to come up with a solution to the plague of alcoholism. And because of this, alcoholics were able to lead productive, respectable lives.
Maybe we take this too much for granted 75 or so years later. Shouldn't we be humbly grateful to be sober? Not greedy for more, more, more, more, more? I think I am just going to try to be grateful for this gift in my life and I will ask anyone who I am sponsoring (and calls me today) to write a gratitude list and if they still have problems, let's get going on an inventory.
Thanking God for what he has put in my life today.