Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Tuesday Morning

I am going to try to get out of here to the gym, get my 3 miles in on the treadmill, hit the locker room, get dressed, blown dry, made up, and get to an AA meeting by 6:30.

I recently changed my profile - I took out the city where I live. The longer I write this thing every day, the more likely I am to come up on a search for nearly anything - and for someone looking for anything in my city, my blog comes up. If someone specifies a city in a search, it is likely they are looking for something specific and my blog is unlikely to contain the info they are seeking. Unrelated to the city issue, my blog was found the other day by a person searching "why doesn't my lasagna cut nice?" And then I have realized that I am found frequently by people whose primary language probably isn't English. There are many searches for "alcoholic anonymous," which when I look at the search page, I will see google in Russian, or Swedish, or some other language I don't understand.

But I do understand and can almost feel the pain involved in many of the searches. I feel bad that sometimes this blog is about my morning routine, or my iPod, or some other frivolity of my life. I do have a responsibility to carry the message of Alcoholics Anonymous, but I can only do that as myself - me, Mary Christine. I absolutely REFUSE to set myself up as the expert on AA, the steps, happiness, or any other thing. I MUST be an expert in my profession on other things, but here, I am an alcoholic, recovering, one day at a time, by the Grace of a Loving God.

"True ambition is not what we thought it was. True ambition is the deep desire to live usefully and walk humbly under the grace of God." -- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 124-125

24 comments:

Trudging said...

I don't tell my town(believe me it is not a city)either. You know anonymous and all

dAAve said...

I rarely look at the searches that bring people to visit me. Maybe I should.
I leave Houston in my profile. If someone finds me because of that, maybe they are looking for a meeting in the area. I link to Intergroup.
I DO consider myself an expert --
on drinking and denial, amongst other things.

Scott said...

I dont tell my town either, its tiny and I just dont need my wtuff being quite that public....

I dont even know howw to find out how people find me... that soudns interesting..

as for the content of your post, it's your blog, post what ya like, all you can do is tell your own story... You have a responsibility to AA to be truthful about the message for sure, we all do. But, as an ambassador of AA, I think you're an angel! You sure help me! I think sometimes we forgot that yeah there's 12 steps, and principle of recovery, but AA is a personal program, unique to each of us!

Walker said...

"I absolutely REFUSE to set myself up as the expert on AA, the steps, happiness, or any other thing."

Mary, just be yourself (as you have been doing).There are plenty of other "expert" we all see at meetings. As a relative newbie to sobriety I have enjoyed your blog.
Thanks,

recoveryroad said...

I get some of the weirdest 'keyword' searches. All good fun, if not a wee bit puzzling at times!

Sober Chick said...

I think you are owning too much of this MC. You always seem to be distressed about your posts. It has been wonderful learning about your life, that which you live sober. Before the Internet people still discovered the rooms of AA -- heck I did by calling central office. It was only after I got sober I began to reach out in blogland to those in recovery.

You have a life today, and it is beautiful. I hope you don't get intimidated and leave out the realness you experience each day.

In the end it is all up to you how you wish to be, but I hope it does not eat you up as it has been. It seems like there is some obession to the searches happening, I could be wrong.

Tight Hugs and I love you and I am grateful for your presence in my recovery!!!

Gwen said...

I am no expert either. In fact the longer I am sober the less I know. I had to live it to really get that one.

I really popped in to tell you I just ordered John's Nano and Nike set! I am really excited. My only concern is he just bought new running shoes and they are not Nike. He will have to get the Nike shoes won't he? Oh well, whats one more pair of shoes!!!!

Have a wonderful day!
G~

Carly said...

I get weird searches leading to my blogs too. I won't let it edit (or inspire) what I write about. It's not my business how someone perceives my blogs -- especially Lush for Life which is my little sandbox. (But I don't tell my town/city either. If I had a more common name, maybe I would.)

Tab said...

You are such a great blogger by you just being you MC:)
You make a difference with what you DO share here..that is good enough:)

A Tampa Realtor said...

Hmmm. Just checking in, trying to read more blogs, searching for that next "ah ha!" moment in my recovery.

Peace!

Diego said...

Nice post...if I were to google senorita I'll come up with? You totally made me laugh this morning....Donde es Diego? That's funny....

Shannon said...

LOL I love you and love all that you do share on your blog, things that are your favorites, the importance of carring the message here on our blogs- have a great run and day

Shannon said...

ps one of these days I need to learn how to do a google search thingy on my blog so i know who all comes over hahah

Motorcycle Mike - Sober Biker said...

I am thankful that I found your blog as one of the first out there, city or no, and that you share both your personal life and your program.

Thanks for being....

Mary Christine said...

Okay. I am belaboring the point I am sure, but I have a tendency to do that. I do love to see how people get here, and then I get amazed at how they do.

I appreciate all of you being so supportive of me, and I will try to just get on with it and not keep on questioning this blog.

I really thought of ditching the blog earlier this week, but I will continue because I get so very much out of it.

I love you guys.

Tab said...

you know something MC...every time
I think about closing my blog.I read a comment someone left me that makes me see just how blogs connect people and HOPE.Keep blogging as long as your heart tells you to:)

Scott W said...

I like it when you share your life and your outlook on AA, it helps me stay sober for just one more day. I bet there are others who visit and do not comment that feel the same.

Progress, not perfection.

lash505 said...

I leave out mine I dont want unwanted guests..

Karen B said...

I found your blog when I first started blogging to see if other AA's were blogging their experience, stength and hope. I am soo glad I found you and that there's somebody in my state with good recovery. I miss having my own blog to vent but I can't do that now since I had too many personal problems that I revealed and got negative feedback as a result. By the suggestion of my sponsor I'm not blogging now. I still enjoy visiting your blogs and hearing your colorful stories about recovery.
All is well with me by the way, I'm in the process of enrolling to finish my undergraduate studies at Regis University in January and looking for my own place to morgage. All is still well with my relationship. Keep blogging and working out and I will do the same.
Hugs :-)

NMAMFQLMSH said...

It's my blog and I'll blog if I want to.
The more I am confortable in my own skin and in my recovery the more I don't care who find my blog.
I'm grateful I found yours.
I see you,
JJ

Mary Christine said...

Karen B - I am a graduate of that university! Both my undergrad and my graduate degrees! I love it!

Dying for a Drink said...

MC, I found your blog through a search on 'alcoholic and recovery' and I'm very glad I did.

I can find information about AA from their website, and by reading the Big Book. What I get from your blog - and the blogs of others who are honest enough to share their experiences - is a realisation that life doesn't end when you stop drinking - life begins.

I am very grateful for the route that brought me to your blog: I found what I was looking for.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing wrong with sharing your day-to-day life. It serves as a reminder that sobriety doesn't revolve entirely around meetings and meditations. It's also about laundry and picking up the kids and just living life. I welcome the mundane with magical.

Peace,
Dharma

Christine said...

glad you are here, you add to my life and countless others.

yeah, my true ambition...