I get today off for Veteran's Day. I will fly my flag from my front porch. I will pray for my son, as I always do. I will pray for my brother, the Vietnam vet - one I thought wasn't as screwed up as most seemed, but as he ages, the scars (physical and psychic) seem to show more.
I am going to a meeting this morning and then I will run. I have two different shirts on, a tank (for if I go to the gym) under a long sleeved shirt (if I go to the lake and run outdoors) under a vest. I will see what kind of day it looks like after the meeting. Tonight I am going to an AA meeting at 6:00 p.m., and then I will run over to the retreat I am attending at my church tonight and all day tomorrow.
I have been thinking a lot lately about disclosure of my alcoholism. I used to tell everybody that I was an AA member. When I examined my motivation for doing so, I found it was for self-aggrandizement, so I stopped it. I would tell someone if I felt there was a reason to - and try never to boast about how great I am. Now I seem to be rethinking my stance. Yesterday I told a co-worker that I am a sober alcoholic. I have worked with this woman for 10 years. We have been friendly enough to go to lunch, and do some minor socializing outside of work, so she isn't strictly a co-worker, but not a close friend either. I was shocked that she was shocked when I told her. She was blown away. She said she knew I didn't drink, but she thought it was because I am very conservative and religious! I am amazed that this is the way I am perceived by a person with whom I spend a lot of time. In my mind, everyone can see that I am just a hair's breadth away from the slutty drunken nut case I was.
"The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!" -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 153