Friday, November 10, 2006

Veteran's Day

I get today off for Veteran's Day. I will fly my flag from my front porch. I will pray for my son, as I always do. I will pray for my brother, the Vietnam vet - one I thought wasn't as screwed up as most seemed, but as he ages, the scars (physical and psychic) seem to show more.

I am going to a meeting this morning and then I will run. I have two different shirts on, a tank (for if I go to the gym) under a long sleeved shirt (if I go to the lake and run outdoors) under a vest. I will see what kind of day it looks like after the meeting. Tonight I am going to an AA meeting at 6:00 p.m., and then I will run over to the retreat I am attending at my church tonight and all day tomorrow.

I have been thinking a lot lately about disclosure of my alcoholism. I used to tell everybody that I was an AA member. When I examined my motivation for doing so, I found it was for self-aggrandizement, so I stopped it. I would tell someone if I felt there was a reason to - and try never to boast about how great I am. Now I seem to be rethinking my stance. Yesterday I told a co-worker that I am a sober alcoholic. I have worked with this woman for 10 years. We have been friendly enough to go to lunch, and do some minor socializing outside of work, so she isn't strictly a co-worker, but not a close friend either. I was shocked that she was shocked when I told her. She was blown away. She said she knew I didn't drink, but she thought it was because I am very conservative and religious! I am amazed that this is the way I am perceived by a person with whom I spend a lot of time. In my mind, everyone can see that I am just a hair's breadth away from the slutty drunken nut case I was.

"The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!" -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 153

8 comments:

dAAve said...

Are you trying to set me up with the series of one-liners I happen to have at my disposal?
Have a great time today and
HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY.

Scott W said...

"In my mind, everyone can see that I am just a hair's breadth away from the slutty drunken nut case I was." MC, this is rich!

Just remember that the world is full of sleepwalkers. Most can't see our their own windows.

Sober Chick said...

You would fall in love with my Bot Camp intructor Eric. After he served he now does amazing work in the community. He has so much pride as an American yet the pride is not toxic.

Happy Friday!

Tab said...

What a great self reflective post MC.Have a peaceful weekend,your son is in my thoughts this Remembrance weekend...thanks for sharing.

Diego said...

again.....its our own perception of ourselves that gets us....have the same thing going on with me....let's keep going to meetings and practicing the steps...

Anonymous said...

Peace and love,
Dharmashanti

Shannon said...

I prayed for your son too MC. Hope you had a great run.. I think thats funny... if only she knew..
Have a good one... Oh come and see my gran baby I got pics :)

Sober @ Sundown said...

It's amazing how the perceptions we have of ourselves are so different from the rest of the world. I still see myself as a crazy drunk.