Wednesday, October 05, 2011


Of vacation... three more work days before I am on vacation.  Boy, have I got a lot of work to get done!  And I am excited about my upcoming vacay.  I love planning trips.  And I really love planning things with my daughter-who-is-not-an-alcoholic.  She likes doing stuff.

Last night I had dinner with a friend who is one day younger than I am.  We are both thinking about our upcoming 60th birthdays.  We talked about it last night - that was the purpose of our getting together.

I had wanted to have a big party for my birthday, like I did for my 50th.  I asked another good friend to help me plan a party.  She is great at that.  She asked me some questions, and I started to balk.  I thought about the fact that I am in such a different place than when I was turning 50.  I told her I would start with a list of people to invite and more importantly discuss with my soon-to-be-60 friend.

I was relieved to see that my friend feels the same way about her 60th.  When she turned 50, she invited 50 of her girlfriends to a party.  She said that has absolutely no appeal to her now.  When I sat down and tried to write a list of people to invite, I had absolutely no enthusiasm about it.  It felt like an exercise.

What I would like most is to have a beautiful dinner, either out or at home, with my family.  I wish my son could be there, but my daughters and daughter-in-law can be.  My three granddaughters can be there.  That is what I want.  I haven't totally shut the door on the party idea, but I am close.

My friend and I talked about the gratitude we have about facing this momentous birthday sober.  For having few regrets - because we have both been sober for a while.  For our health, we are both very active and healthy.  She is married and a lot more financially secure than I am, but we have a lot in common otherwise.

We have friends who are facing life-threatening illnesses, we agreed we would be selfish in the extreme if we were whining about getting older.

Thanks to the Grace of God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have walked through almost half of my life sober and with faith that I would be OK.  Some of it has been scary, some of it has been delightful.  But all of it has been a life fully lived - sober - in the open, in the sunshine.

What could be better than that?


Syd said...

We did have a party for my 50th. It was an oyster roast which was fun. Just a few friends and family. But once is enough. I am 55 and in good shape. I feel as if I am 35 most days. But my idea of a fun birthday is being on the boat and just relaxing. I am all about Keeping it Simple these days.

Grace-WorkinProgress said...

When my life didn't feel like my own I relied on birthdays and holidays to make me happy.

I put so much pressure on myself to make a big. It never worked they sucked anyway.

Now with peace in my heart every day is an opportunity to celebrate. I don't need an excuse to have fun. Happy b-day do what feels good and have a big party next year.

Lou said...

I would be ambivalent about it too. I feel the decade b'days should really be celebrated in a big way..other days I want the quiet dinner.

Is that vacation in Maine? What a fabulous time of year!

Sober Julie said...

What a fantastic show of your gratitude, that's so amazing.

Pammie said...

I'm so glad you are getting a vacation! yahoo.