This morning I had an early meeting at work. We all sat in the conference room and were about to begin. The medical director was called out of the meeting. He came back in and announced that one of our beloved doctors had died last night. And then we sat in silence for a good two minutes, sniffing and stifled sobs the only sounds punctuating the quiet. Someone got up and brought in two boxes of kleenex. We all reached for one or two and dabbed our eyes and noses.
Then our medical director (written of earlier this week as "my favorite psychiatrist") said, "I know this is hard, but we really have to go on with our meeting." And we did. It was indeed hard.
I loved this doctor. I wrote about him in July when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He was 72 years old, which probably sounds old enough to die if you are young. But he was still working every day, and working a very challenging job. He was the best psychiatrist I ever knew. My background is medical records (I am a credentialed health information administrator), and I fell in love with him before I even met him. His records were impeccable. His documentation always far beyond complete. His meticulous caring was evident on every page. His handwriting was legible! And he was handsome - in a Cary Grant (photo above) kind of way.
He loved me as the medical record director and he never quite forgave me for being promoted 10 years ago.
In July, he got added to my list of people I pray for every day. This morning I prayed for him and started crying. I just felt that he was gone.
But when I got to work and saw everyone acting normally I was sure I had to be wrong. We just didn't know yet. It was a mournful place for the rest of the day once we knew.
I know this has nothing to do with my blog.
Except that I am a sober woman and I have been able to love people I work with. I know some alcoholics have a stable work history while drinking, but that certainly wasn't my story. The fact that I have worked somewhere for 17 years and have loved people I interact with every day is nothing short of miraculous.
And sometimes that hurts.
God bless you Dr. L___. You will be sorely missed.