Monday, October 31, 2011

Too Much

Sometimes it is all just a bit too much.

Today I told my boss I would be a bit late tomorrow morning.  I need to go to a sponsee's birthday meeting at 6:30 a.m.  And then I need to go to church at 8:00 a.m.  I told her I wouldn't be very late, but I would be late.

She said I work more than my fair share of hours and I have a lot on my plate.  And then she said "And most of the things you do are for other people."  Well, I am glad she has the perception that I am so unselfish.  Because....

Right now I feel like if one more person calls me and cries or complains I will scream.

It would be so nice for someone to just call to say hello, or to actually see how I am.

But I am the sponsor, I am the mother, I am the grandmother.  I have become invisible.  I am just the ear to listen to the drama.

OK, enough out of me.  I am going to bed.

Gee, I know that sugar and I don't get along really well... do you think this might be evidence?

I can still thank God for another day when I didn't drink, and I didn't want to.  And regardless of how I feel, that is still a wonderful thing.


Syd said...

Seriously, I sometimes wonder if I am just an ear. I get it that others have issues but no ones seems to think that I do for some reason.
But tonight I just felt goofy. After all, it is Halloween.

Anna said...

I am so glad that you did not even want to drink today. It is good that you help so much but remember to keep up your own energy you sometimes have to say no or maybe just later.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Anna, but by me reading your blog you show me how to help people in the right way. Thanks Oh by the way HELLO, hope you have a great day.

Mary LA said...

No whining or complaining here -- I think you're wonderful. Lay off the sweeties, they look too irresistible to be good for you.

dAAve said...

I sometimes have those same perceptions; that everyone just wants something from me.
But I have done a few mini-fourth steps on this and realize that I invite this into my life.

Oh well.

Lou said...

You are reading my mind today! I have felt very "used up" lately. Mostly by my friends seem to have more respect.

Dave is probably right, I invite my family to treat me that way. If I examine myself, I'm the one offering to help even when I'm not asked.

Pammie said...

I'm glad you have the flexibility with work on those mornings when you need it. The whole "job" thing really gets in the way sometimes.

Pammie said...

Oh..and on the other comments...we just don't get the luxury of not being of continuing service to others do we? It's the fundemental base of our sobriety.

Melissa said...

many times I feel the same - with the four kids and my business, it seems somedays it never ends (hgs)

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

:) I want to be a better ear, and I'm glad you are here and taking the steps and that the reflections are still that you are doing the right thing even when your not necessarily in the right thinkin' :)

I also love that you're honest about the not right thinkin' cause that happens to me a lot, and I'm grateful that it's not the end of the world :)