Monday, January 07, 2008


Back to work today. I don't feel particularly well rested. The weekend was very eventful and I also have yet another cold. Today I get to wear a new outfit I got back in December and realized the first time I wore it that the pants needed to be hemmed. Now that they are hemmed, I have a new outfit to wear!

Yesterday morning, there was a tap, tap, tapping on my front door. It was a neighbor, who felt that because I am on the HOA board I was the appropriate person to talk to about her ugly dispute with another neighbor. She brought a stack of papers, they were the e-mail trail of ugliness. My first thought was "I do not have time for this!" Then I tried to be compassionate and listen to this woman who was really just very hurt that her former friend has stopped being her friend. People sure get ugly when they are hurt, don't they? So I listened, and managed (I hope) not to insert myself into this mess. I will serve out my term on the board, and then I need to get out. I do not want to be part of the disputes of people. I work very hard at keeping my neighborhood relationships friendly and would like to keep them all that way.

I really thought about how fortunate we in AA are. I listened to this poor woman who is hurt and angry and frightened, and tried to imagine what it would be like to need to knock on the door of a virtual stranger to talk about this. We, as AA members, have almost unlimited resources at our fingertips. I have a sponsor and a host of friends who I can call at any time. And they would all be quick to tell me that I can only take care of my own side of the street - which in this case would be literal as well as figurative! Thank God we have a program and a couple million people to help us apply it in our lives.

"If we are fooling ourselves, a competent adviser can see this quickly. And, as he skillfully guides us away from our fantasies, we are surprised to find that we have few of the usual urges to defend ourselves against unpleasant truths." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 248


dAAve said...

I had much the same experience on our HOA Board. I lasted 2 months before resigning. Staying away from the disputes of others is a fine way to word it and I shall do my best.
Thanks for sharing.

Syd said...

I think that Robert Frost was right--fences make good neighbors. I don't want to be involved with the dramas of others. My own life is enough to handle.

Scott W said...

We are not alone, never have to do it by ourselves again. You are correct, we are very lucky.

There is a line in a Grace Jones song I love, "Your private life drama, baby, leave me out."