I had a long conversation last night with a woman who shares a concern with me. We are watching a man in our group doing something that appears to be tearing him apart. She did try to talk with some people about it and was told very sharply "it is none of our business."
A few years ago we buried someone - what he had been doing was "none of our business" we had decided. After he was dead, we scratched our heads and thought that perhaps we might have said something, done something, showed our concern some way - before he was dead.
I count on my friends in AA to tell me the truth. Please, dear God, they never decide that I am none of their business. My friend and I agreed to tell each other unpleasant truths if necessary. I know my sponsor will always tell me the truth. It is ultimately the most loving thing to do.
"We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 125