Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Friends

Yesterday I went to my old home group. It was good to be there. It was good to see some old friends. It was a wonderful surprise to see Andy walk in the door. He moved away almost 9 years ago. I have known him since he got sober - which is now almost 21 years ago. He was my boyfriend for a short while, then we managed to become very good friends after the romance didn't work. I drove to Tucson last June to pass on my 20 year chip to him.

In the last few years he has been increasingly bitter and angry, but I have always been able to deflect that and get to the human side of him. Yesterday was different. I stood and cried. We have always been polar opposites politically, but we have always been able to have lively and respectful debate and continue to be friends. Yesterday he attacked me. I was not prepared for that. I told him I would not argue with him and clearly he knew that I did not agree with him. We ended up having a cup of coffee, some fairly superficial conversation, and made a plan to go see "Brokeback Mountain" last night.

He called in the afternoon and left a message saying that he was going to take his mother out for dinner and he would catch me on his next trip to Denver. I am sad to say I was very relieved.

This is really the first time I have had an AA relationship be impacted by external things like politics. It makes me so sad.

I am a political junkie. I always have cable news on. I read a lot. But I am not going to tell you where I stand on anything polital because it doesn't have anything to do with AA. (Besides, I have another blog where I am not identified as an AA member and I trot out my political views.) The wisdom of the AA Traditions is incredible. The Tenth Tradition is so important.

I hope this doesn't sound like self-pity. I am just so sad. I just love Andy.

9 comments:

Trudging said...

A very wise person told me many years ago that I need to learn to acept the ebb and flow of relationships. It has helped me!

Mary Christine said...

That is very good advice. I have done some soul searching in the last 24 or so hours and I think that I am a little bit too invested in some of my long term relationships. I need to accept that people change, like you said Ms. Trudging. Thanks.

dAAve said...

Well MC, you're a much better woman than I. I like to try to keep politics out of conversations with AA friends, but have not been 100% successful. I NEVER share in a group about politics. But all of my friends are in recovery, so how else can I speak of my views? Don't do it often though. Especially since none of them ever agrees with me. LOL

Mary Christine said...

Daave - you are so cute. I agree - we do talk about stuff. But outside of the meeting. I guess what I was shocked about was the inability to get beyond it. That is unusual - at least in my experience. And why does your name say Daave instead of HP? I am going to have to get to the bottom of this!

Mary Christine said...

Oh, and Daave, I certainly HOPE I am a better WOMAN than you!

Shannon said...

hey I dont think is sounds like self-pity... I think you nailed it, you are sad about this.. I am sorry he was being a brat... I hope he will come to his senses and call you and tell you sorry... :)

Shannon said...

hahah MC you and Daave... are crackin me up

AAwoken said...

Politics and AA definitely don't mix. I try and practice restraint of toungue and pen. I am rarely successful. Perhaps it a battle with my "deadly needs" to be right an to win.

NMAMFQLMSH said...

O.K. now I have to now. What political party you lean towards and all your views on every subject you can imagine....lol...
I see you,
JJ