I really do like Monday mornings. I will get to the gym just as it is opening, have a nice run, come back home and get ready for another productive week at work. I actually have some homework to do this week! On Sunday, I am starting a summer class. I am auditing a graduate level Biostatistics class at my Alma Mater. I am so excited about this. It will help me with my job and I just love statistics so it will be fun. I have been out of school for 5 years, so I know it will be hard to sit in a classroom all day on a Sunday, but it will be good. The class only meets 3 times, the rest of the work is done online.
Yesterday I went to my daughter's house for lunch. I got a glimmer of hope when I heard something she told my granddaughter. The little one was crying because one of her friends hurt her feelings. She had silent little tears streaming down her face as we were eating lunch. My daughter listened sympathetically for a while and then told her daughter this: "when I feel really bad, if I do something for someone else it helps me to forget about myself and then I feel better!" In just that one sentence, I saw so much hope for my daughter - and her family.
I had a terrible attack of fear yesterday morning. I have not felt this way in so long, it is so unfamiliar to me. I don't like it one little bit. But I guess when you step outside of your comfort zone, it can be frightening. I am very glad to report that today I am not in fear.
"We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn't fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.
Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 68