I only have to work 4 days this week and then I am going on vacation! I leave on Friday morning for Savannah, GA, USA. I am very excited about seeing my family, getting out of town, and getting away from work for over a week. I will be back from Savannah next Monday, but I took that entire week off of work - just to kick back.
Yesterday walking across the campus of my Alma Mater, on my way to the class I am auditing, I had a bit of an epiphany. That is probably wild overstatement and hyperbole, but oh well. I recalled the first time I walked across the campus and into the building my class was in yesterday. The first time was in early 1997, I had an interview to see if they would accept me into their program. I was so nervous. I was sober 13 years, but still had that feeling that they would "find out" about me and never allow me to attend their prestigious University. But they did let me in, and I excelled, in fact, I graduated in 2000 "Magna Cum Laude". I missed Summa Cum Laude by only a fraction of a grade point. And then I went on to get my masters degree in 2001, all of this while working full time. I say this not to impress anyone, but because I am still astounded. I had spent 40 some years of my life convinced I was lazy and stupid!
I was also convinced of many other untruths. Little by little, as I stay sober, one day at a time, I hope that all of my untruths will be revealed and I will get to be the woman God intended me to be.
"When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 52
12 comments:
I know some guys who want to be the woman that their HP wants them to be. But that may be a different program.
I felt stupid for so many years despite the proof I wasn't. It was my sponsor who convinced me to go back to college, that I could do it. I remember walking out of that first class knowing for the very first time how smart I really am and how beaten down the disease had gotten me.
If you get near WV--it is beautiful and I'd love to show you our trails.
Good idea to be cautious blogging about growing relationships or even long standing ones--sometimes I get weary of how my blog is sooo all about me but it keeps me out of the gossip and criticism mode.
HAve a great trip and congrats on all your accomplishments. Its so gwonderful to know I'm hanging with a winner when I read you
Believing in yourself and a HP makes for a wonderful life balance!
Very nice post today MC :)
Thanks for sharing~
Kicking back for an extra week, nice being good to yourself. I know you are smart you used some $25.00 word on dAAve's comment the other day and here you go again, hyperbole, epiphany. I know for sure I have to get out my red neck dictionary. Yep now I am sure of it Magna Cum Laude and Summa Cum Laude.
It is SO INSPIRING to see and hear other women in sobriety. I, too, am excited (and somewhat nervous of the unknown) about becoming the woman my God wants me to be. Thank you for this post today. Hope you have a wonderful time in Savannah!
What an inspiring story!!! I hope I'm just like you when I grow up - have a wonderful vacation!
lazy and stupid, wow, those are definitely not words I would use to describe you MC, not even close!
I still struggle with the stupid thing in certain situations. Big brothers always called me stupid. If someone tells you enough you sadly start to believe it ;(.
Lazy and stupid sound so wrong for you. Wow those tapes in our heads can be such liars! Yucky Stuff eeewww ~ glad your sober and can see the truth. ;)
Wow, congrats on the Magna Cum Laude! That's still very awesome. It's funny how those who are the brightest among us often perceive themselves to be dim.
Out with the untruths...........
You are beautiful both inside and out.
And I friggin' see you I really do.
JJ
PS: I hope you have a kickass vacation.
Thanks for the inspiration and have a wonderful vacation.
Good stuff! I'm considering going back to school to finish my Bachelor's this fall, hopefully. There must be an HP because I have been thinking about it for a while and received random calls from different schools. I am going to do this as I work full time. This is what I needed to hear. You go girl.Have fun in Savannah, that's where I always wanted to visit.
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