Thursday, April 26, 2012
Dealing with Age
Google Images can certainly be instructive. When searching for "old women" you get a selection of gross images. "Funny" pictures. Like the iconic old woman smoking a cigar... ha ha, very funny. Women with no teeth - again, fricking hilarious. After scrolling for pages, I finally got to Helen Mirren. Who is gorgeous (and has admittedly had some "work" done). And a couple of other real women. But mostly, "old woman" seems to be a joke. Nice.
When googling "old men," you are treated to a selection of photos of Don Johnson, Christopher Plummer, Tommy Lee Jones (who is so sexy), Pope Benedict, Clint Eastwood, a generic distinguished gentleman with a pipe... and then some old toothless men.
I have really never had an age crisis before. I was thrilled to turn 30. I was thrilled to turn 50. I didn't really mind turning 60. And then I started working with women who are all younger than my youngest children. One of them was born the year I got sober.
I have never thought about my age so much. It is a weird form of self-centeredness. And it is not fun.
Yesterday I decided this long hair has got to go. I might even stop coloring it. I have decided that worse than being "old" is trying to look "young." I hadn't thought of my hair that way, but I think I would be better with short hair.
I have had two good days at work in a row. I have grown friendly with one of these young women. She is a delightful young mother whose husband stays at home with baby. He sends her pictures of him all day long (the baby). She coos with delight. It is very sweet. She invited me to lunch yesterday and we talked about our new jobs. It is good to hear someone else's perspective, especially when it aligns with mine!
Being on a 180º learning curve is probably good for me, but really challenging. I am learning not only about my job, but about people, and myself.
Every day I start my day with a prayer that God gives me the strength to do his will. I ask him to show me how I can be the person he would like me to be. Every now and then, I get a glimpse of that. I have had several days in a row that feel like I am finally getting to the other side.
And the two "terrible" weeks start today, so I better get out of here!
Let's all stay sober today, OK?