Friday, April 06, 2012

Good Friday

It is Good Friday.  A day I normally take off work.  And go to church.  I may have time to go to Stations of the Cross at the Cathedral at noon today, but I would not bet on it.  I feel like this new job has absolutely consumed me for the last ten weeks and I have experienced little else.  I feel like I have missed Lent, which is heartbreaking to me.  Last year my Lenten resolve was to go to church every single day.  If not for Mass, then for Eucharistic Adoration - and I did it.  I had to juggle my schedule on a daily basis to do it, but I gladly did so.  This year there is absolutely no flexibility because of my workload and deadlines.

So, to process this, I will just say that being consumed by a job is an entirely different thing than being consumed by alcoholism or addiction.  I don't feel sick, guilty, or ashamed - I just feel tired.  And I know "this too shall pass."

I was the first one hired in my new department - I was there 2 months before anyone else.  Now there are three others.  They are all about 12 years old.  Prodigies.  Cute.  They all brought their degrees to hang on their cubicle walls and today I am going to do that too.  Why not.  It IS nice to commiserate with these women about working in a cubicle instead of an office.  We have all leapt onboard for this job which has been a lateral move for all of us, in which we have all actually LOST money because of the expense of working downtown - just for the opportunity to be part of this new, highly visible, and exciting new department.  On Monday we are having a retreat at the boss' house.  In preparation, we have a list of questions to answer.  And then a list of three things about us that "nobody knows."  Oh crap.  I SO don't want to do "team-building."

I might be a tad grouchy this morning.  I think I have already worked at least 40 hours this week, and have another 10 to go.  I am a bit old to be working like this.  I am a big believer in getting your job done in 8 hours or less a day.  I think if it takes you 10 or 11 hours every day there is something wrong - either you are incompetent, or you are overworked.  I chose to believe the latter in my case.

Yesterday someone came by and left the kind of comment that I kind of think is like a turd on the front lawn.  It was from a rehab, of course.  This person said something like when I am ready to get sober I should click the link to their website.  If you are going to spam like that, could you at least read the header of the blog?  Mine tells you my sobriety date - 10,117 days ago.

OK, I could go on and on, but I have to get on the treadmill and get ready for work.  Blogging about my irritation is probably not helpful to anyone - including myself.

I have already done my prayer and meditation this morning, but I think I will do a little more.  I know that no matter how I "feel," God is here with me and is always willing to extend his mercy - if I ask for it.

I think I will stay sober today, and I hope you all do too.


7 comments:

Syd said...

Have a good Good Friday.

Mary LA said...

Oh Mary Christine, I still have someone in comments telling me to do Step 3 again 'properly' and another telling me to leave the evil cult of AA. I just zap them into non-blogland where the tick-tock crocodile eats Captain Hook.

Team building in media made me more defensive than I have been before or since. You're doing a great job.

Mary Christine said...

Mary - thanks for that great image! I will remember that next time someone leaves "poop" on my blog.

Kary May said...

Thank you for reminding me to take a moment out of my so called busy day to got sit in church and "listen" for what it is I am truly meant to do today. Blessed Good Friday to you.

Lou said...

I get the comments I should "take care of myself" and "put my recovery first" etc.

Oh my, if I spent anymore time taking care of myself, I would have to quit sleeping, eating, and working.

The worst team building exercise ever is falling backward into a co worker((s) arms. I wonder how many people have broken their necks doing that one!!

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm new here and I like your blog. Remember that people who spread poop are nothing but giant pieces of it! Feel sorry for them. ;) My question is I would like to go to AA but I take meds for a chronic illness and have heard that those like me are shunned. I really couldn't take that. Your thoughts? Happy Easter!

Mary Christine said...

Hi Anonymous,

Ten or Twenty years ago those attitudes may have existed in AA. I think, as a whole, they no longer exist. If you are taking a medication for a chronic illness, I would say "God Bless You." There is no reason that should be an obstacle to your sobriety.

When I take a medication, I always ask myself 2 questions before taking every pill - 1. Is this prescribed by my physician (who knows I am an alcoholic)? 2. Am I taking this as prescribed (the correct dosage)? For the right reason? ( I occasionally take migraine medication, so I ask myself if I have a migraine that indicates the use of the medication.)

Besides, it is no one but your sponsor's business what medications you are taking.

Go ahead and go. And best wishes to you.

Mary Christine