Good Friday

It is Good Friday.  A day I normally take off work.  And go to church.  I may have time to go to Stations of the Cross at the Cathedral at noon today, but I would not bet on it.  I feel like this new job has absolutely consumed me for the last ten weeks and I have experienced little else.  I feel like I have missed Lent, which is heartbreaking to me.  Last year my Lenten resolve was to go to church every single day.  If not for Mass, then for Eucharistic Adoration - and I did it.  I had to juggle my schedule on a daily basis to do it, but I gladly did so.  This year there is absolutely no flexibility because of my workload and deadlines.

So, to process this, I will just say that being consumed by a job is an entirely different thing than being consumed by alcoholism or addiction.  I don't feel sick, guilty, or ashamed - I just feel tired.  And I know "this too shall pass."

I was the first one hired in my new department - I was there 2 months before anyone else.  Now there are three others.  They are all about 12 years old.  Prodigies.  Cute.  They all brought their degrees to hang on their cubicle walls and today I am going to do that too.  Why not.  It IS nice to commiserate with these women about working in a cubicle instead of an office.  We have all leapt onboard for this job which has been a lateral move for all of us, in which we have all actually LOST money because of the expense of working downtown - just for the opportunity to be part of this new, highly visible, and exciting new department.  On Monday we are having a retreat at the boss' house.  In preparation, we have a list of questions to answer.  And then a list of three things about us that "nobody knows."  Oh crap.  I SO don't want to do "team-building."

I might be a tad grouchy this morning.  I think I have already worked at least 40 hours this week, and have another 10 to go.  I am a bit old to be working like this.  I am a big believer in getting your job done in 8 hours or less a day.  I think if it takes you 10 or 11 hours every day there is something wrong - either you are incompetent, or you are overworked.  I chose to believe the latter in my case.

Yesterday someone came by and left the kind of comment that I kind of think is like a turd on the front lawn.  It was from a rehab, of course.  This person said something like when I am ready to get sober I should click the link to their website.  If you are going to spam like that, could you at least read the header of the blog?  Mine tells you my sobriety date - 10,117 days ago.

OK, I could go on and on, but I have to get on the treadmill and get ready for work.  Blogging about my irritation is probably not helpful to anyone - including myself.

I have already done my prayer and meditation this morning, but I think I will do a little more.  I know that no matter how I "feel," God is here with me and is always willing to extend his mercy - if I ask for it.

I think I will stay sober today, and I hope you all do too.