Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Dark at 6:01 a.m.

Did I ever tell y'all about my primeval fear of dogs? Do you know how this complicates running outdoors on an almost daily basis? When I was five years old, I was at my father's company picnic. A little boy and I (this is what my ex-husband said is the real problem- the boy) decided to take a walk. We could not read yet, so couldn't read the sign that said "NO TRESPASSING, GUARD DOGS" and yes, we got attacked by dogs. It was very traumatic. I remember going to the hospital, I remember that I was very fortunate and did not have life-threatening injuries. I also remember that I spent the remainder of my youth being terrified of dogs. Any dog, poodles, pomeranians, chihauhuas, it mattered not.

Then, in my early 20s, I had a boyfriend with a dog (maybe my ex-husband was right about what my real problem is) and I learned to love the dog named "blue". I have learned to love many dogs over the years. But I still have a problem with stranger dogs. Dogs I meet on the sidewalk. Dogs don't like runners much. I carry pepper spray. I have never once used it, but it makes me feel better.

I have another long-ass story for why I don't like being outside as a pedestrian in the dark, but I will save it for another day.

So, now it is 6:10 a.m., and I will get out of here for my run. It is still dark though. But I can thank God that today I do not have to be a prisoner of my fears. I can look the world in the eye, and move forward. This I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous.

"So fear need not always be destructive, because the lessons of its consequences can lead us to positive values." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 22


Scott W said...

I am going to post a new painting that you will not like.

Thanks for your wise words, here and other places.

Bouncing off the Bottom said...

I love your last paragraph. Amen, sister! And about dogs, I live in the country and tend to walk carrying a big stick just in case some of my fiercer canine neighbors need a bop on the nose!

Kathy Lynne said...

I love being able to look the world in the eye. So much of my time was consumed with masking my drinking, at work, socially on the ball fields. It's liberating.

lash505 said...

I always had a fear of cats. Dogs you just look at them mean and they have second thoughts.

Pam said...

Oh that's a terrible experience to overcome!!

AAwoken said...

I have been told by mailmen that the electric cattle prod thingies (the ones that do the arc) scare the bejeezus out of dogs. The noise of the arc makes them run for the hills. I have also heard it is one of the few things to get dogs to stop fighting, the sound that is.

Christine said...

hope ou carry something to spray at the dogs if need be

boys and dogs, hmmm they both can be dangerous huh?