Did I ever tell y'all about my primeval fear of dogs? Do you know how this complicates running outdoors on an almost daily basis? When I was five years old, I was at my father's company picnic. A little boy and I (this is what my ex-husband said is the real problem- the boy) decided to take a walk. We could not read yet, so couldn't read the sign that said "NO TRESPASSING, GUARD DOGS" and yes, we got attacked by dogs. It was very traumatic. I remember going to the hospital, I remember that I was very fortunate and did not have life-threatening injuries. I also remember that I spent the remainder of my youth being terrified of dogs. Any dog, poodles, pomeranians, chihauhuas, it mattered not.
Then, in my early 20s, I had a boyfriend with a dog (maybe my ex-husband was right about what my real problem is) and I learned to love the dog named "blue". I have learned to love many dogs over the years. But I still have a problem with stranger dogs. Dogs I meet on the sidewalk. Dogs don't like runners much. I carry pepper spray. I have never once used it, but it makes me feel better.
I have another long-ass story for why I don't like being outside as a pedestrian in the dark, but I will save it for another day.
So, now it is 6:10 a.m., and I will get out of here for my run. It is still dark though. But I can thank God that today I do not have to be a prisoner of my fears. I can look the world in the eye, and move forward. This I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous.
"So fear need not always be destructive, because the lessons of its consequences can lead us to positive values." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 22