I slept almost all day yesterday and all last night. I have been up for an hour now, and am about to go back to bed. I have to make that phone call to work that still brings on anxiety. It seems that no matter how long I stay sober, I still remember those drunken and hungover calls to work, with some lame excuse for why I couldn't come to work that day. Back in the day, being a girl and having a man boss, saying it was "that time of the month" seemed to work well because it embarrassed the man. Boy, that WAS a long time ago. What a drunken hag I was. Manipulative, mean-spirited person.
Yesterday they called me from work because some big disaster is going on there. I cannot believe that I was sick enough to explain to an assistant where to find stuff and advise her on what to do, but I absolutely could not come in to work. It is days like these that make or break careers, and I was powerless to do anything but go back to sleep. And today is another day when I probably should go to work, but I can't.
I can barely see straight enough to write this. I had a cold like this last winter - I was in bed for many days.
So as I lay in bed, I thank God that I have a job where I have many days of sick leave. I thank God that I have a pretty and comfortable bed where I can lay my sick little head. I thank God that I have pretty velvet drapes over lace curtains and that I can see the many still green leaves of a huge tree in my front yard through the curtains. It is very peaceful. I am also so so so grateful that I haven't seen my friend Larry for about a week. I think this illness would kill him he is in such poor health. Thank You God for keeping me away from him for a day or two.
"Your misfortune has become your good fortune. You AAs are a privileged people." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 133