My son has already left for the golf course, so I can run around my house in various stages of dress/undress as I get ready for work this morning. I have something to do this morning that really terrifies me - so having an extra sense of comfort as I dress will help somewhat. I did not buy a blouse or a suit or a pair of shoes for this event. I usually buy a new suit when I feel a need for a boost in confidence. But I have a bunch of suits already - I don't need another one. I don't even LIKE wearing suits for God's sake! I looked for blouses, but I decided I already have a closet full of blouses and sweaters. I am going to wear a favorite pink silk sweater that I love and that will not be too hot.
I have gotten all "prayed-up" this morning. I know that I will be OK no matter what. I know that no matter what, this big deal will be over by 11:00 this morning. And then I am going out for lunch with a bunch of folks I like at work!
I am so glad I went to my old home group yesterday. It was so wonderful to sit with my real peeps. It was my friend Ron's 22nd birthday. Once again, they told him that 22 years of sobriety is "a pretty good start." Oh, I am so grateful for that group. I am also grateful that Ron and I run to each other and hug when we see each other across the room. I am grateful that we say "I love you" to each other. Did I ever tell you that I started knitting in meetings after I got so angry I threw a cup of (hot) coffee at someone in a meeting? Well, that someone was my friend Ron. And do you know that I didn't even remember that yesterday until my buddy Elmer leaned over and whispered something about me throwing coffee at Ron. I forgot all about it! I bet Ron did too. Ron is a totally different person today and I am too.... by the Grace of a Loving God.
"If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the sudden rage were not for us. Anger is the dubious luxury of normal men, but for us alcoholics it is poison." -- As Bill Sees It, p. 5 (quoting Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 66 - but paraphrased and I like this version better - it is a lot more clear than "the grouch and the brainstorm.")