It's a glorious Sunday Morning in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. I'm sitting here in my church clothes, all dressed up and ready to go to church. For some reason, today I "slept in" until 4:30 a.m. I don't know why I am waking up so early, because it keeps me in a pretty much constant state of feeling tired.
The little ones are asleep downstairs with their aunt. My daughter. The other daughter. The good daughter. Their mother is spending this weekend with her ex. Her current is out of town fishing and she felt she needed someone to babysit her (which is true) so she went to spend the weekend with the ex... the father of the children downstairs who is clean and sober a little over 18 months. They only have "supervised" visitation. My daughter hasn't seen her daughters since Easter Sunday. She hasn't done what she needs to do to see her kids. If it were up to me, she would be downstairs with them right now, but it is not up to me. It is up to her and MY ex and judges and lawyers.
What a mess it is when a person goes off the deep end. They tend to take a few people with them. Hopefully my sweet daughter will allow herself to get clean and sober and the other recovery will follow. But for the people who think they fine - all the problems are the fault of the "problem" person - they may never recover.
Lucky for me, I am a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have a program, I have a fellowship, I have a Loving God in my life. This doesn't guarantee that every day will be paradise, but I absolutely do NOT have to drink, and I don't have to go crazy, and I don't have to be miserable - no matter what is going on. That's a pretty good deal.