Yesterday I realized some stuff. It wasn't very much fun. And to top that off, I had my annual evaluation at work. For the first time since my boss has been my boss (7 years), he was almost critical of my performance. He told me that I need to do some stuff I have been reluctant to do. Probably most people would have thought it was a good eval, because he is pushing for me to get the highest rating, which requires a bunch of work on his part, but I felt terrible because I know what he told me is true, and frankly, I am not real sure I can do what he wants me to do.
I am also not sure I can run a marathon. Right now I am pretty sure I cannot run a marathon. This is a tough realization. I am taking this week off running. My left hip is killing me, I have open wounds from chafing from my heart rate monitor strap, and I am beyond tired. I will see how I feel after a few days off. I appreciate the concern expressed by some readers yesterday, but I am sure I am not ill - just a 56 year old woman with a full time job, a family, an AA life and responsibilities, a church life and responsibilities, finishing up my first year of Biblical School, and training for my first marathon. The marathon training pushes everything right over the top!
Today I am riding my bike to work. This is something I have loved in the past. I am hoping it will bring me the joy it always has.