Yesterday at the meeting, I was struck by how many people are sitting around wanting to have a drink. To me, that is just wacky. When I got sober, I was done drinking. I want to be sober - more than anything in the world. Or as my old friend Big Ed used to say "ya gotta wannabe sober more than ya wannabe drunk." I think that is the one and only thing we cannot provide in AA - that desire.
At lunch, I saw R. sitting on the corner, with his sign "anything helps, God bless." R. is a young, good looking, reasonably intelligent man, who thinks that living under a bridge is a clever way of life. The cars wake him up in the morning, and he can tell when he is likely to make enough money for his daily supply of booze. Last winter he got frostbite, then gangrene. He is now sitting in a wheelchair - minus the two legs that were amputated - at the corner. He got sober for 30 days after he got out of the hospital, but now he is back under the bridge.
I really don't understand what it takes sometimes.
I am just grateful that I had a bottom. My bottom was low enough for me, thank you very much. I now want to be sober. I do not want to drink. I am grateful for every day I do not drink. All of them. And to think I found a wonderful new way of life as a result of my sobriety is almost more than a person could believe, but it is true.
Anything helps. God Bless.