Thursday, April 24, 2008

Wannabe

Yesterday at the meeting, I was struck by how many people are sitting around wanting to have a drink. To me, that is just wacky. When I got sober, I was done drinking. I want to be sober - more than anything in the world. Or as my old friend Big Ed used to say "ya gotta wannabe sober more than ya wannabe drunk." I think that is the one and only thing we cannot provide in AA - that desire.

At lunch, I saw R. sitting on the corner, with his sign "anything helps, God bless." R. is a young, good looking, reasonably intelligent man, who thinks that living under a bridge is a clever way of life. The cars wake him up in the morning, and he can tell when he is likely to make enough money for his daily supply of booze. Last winter he got frostbite, then gangrene. He is now sitting in a wheelchair - minus the two legs that were amputated - at the corner. He got sober for 30 days after he got out of the hospital, but now he is back under the bridge.

I really don't understand what it takes sometimes.

I am just grateful that I had a bottom. My bottom was low enough for me, thank you very much. I now want to be sober. I do not want to drink. I am grateful for every day I do not drink. All of them. And to think I found a wonderful new way of life as a result of my sobriety is almost more than a person could believe, but it is true.

Anything helps. God Bless.

13 comments:

Scott W said...

I don't understand either, which makes me even more grateful.

Syd said...

I guess that there are those who just will never get it. I'm glad that you're not one of those.

Banana Girl said...

What a beautiful post this beautiful morning in the most beautiful place I need to be! I missed my meeting this morning due to previously scheduled appts. and this was just like a mini-meeting for me. Thanks for the images and the wisdom. You are the best, my Sherpa of the Solution! Hugs and great running today! J.

Anonymous said...

thank you for the reminder that my bottom only has to be low enough for me. Sobriety is so much different than I expected and unbelievable. - wendy

dAAve said...

see above comment

dAAve said...

see above comment

The Sober Alcoholic Soldier said...

Thank you for your response. It really means alot to know there are people like you out there. And of course I wouldn't mind if you have a link to my blog. Have a great day.

Anonymous said...

THANK GOD I WANTED IT and I still want IT today!

798 days today!

Willa

Zane-nawwaa said...

Enjoy you beautiful day you beautiful little person, you.

Pam said...

I believe everyones bottom is the same. It's the surrendering moment of looking to the sky and saying "God help me, what is wrong with me...I can't stand this another moment"
I will miss your blog while I'm gone little pequin pepper.

Bill said...

Amen, sistah!

I definitely love my sobriety more than I loved drinking, especially as I was reaching my low point.
I haven't had any seriously obsessive thoughts of drinking, although I've had the fleeting thought of a drink.
It was funny the last time that happened. I was in a restaurant with a friend, and we had been waiting a long time for our food. A waitress went by with a tray of martinis, and I wanted to grab one and gulp it. But not because I wanted a drink, I wanted to do something outrageous because I was hungry. I also thought about grabbing someone else's food order as it sailed past.

donnalyn said...

there will always be some that "dont get it" the whole concept of AA, is amazing. this past feb 24th, i happily celebrated my 16th year of sobriety. i cant even believe its been that long., i have no desire to drink., thanks god!! AA, not only showed me how to live without alcohol, it showed me , acceptance,undersanding others., patience, honesty,and that being yourself is okay., and that there are others out there who feel the same way i did. i was not alone..... donna lyn native nyer

donnalynssober said...

hi,just celebrated my 16th year of sobriety!!!! proud to say, not only did i stop drinking, i learned , forgiveness, tolerance,understanding others,compassion,and helping the next person. it feels good., i never really accomplished that much in my life., AA was really a gift from god., i have no desire at all to drink., i have not had a desire to drink in a very long time., i thank the great program of AA and the people who cared, and helped me from the start! aside from my two sons., getting sober and seeing life in a bettr way, was a true gift from god., amen. donnalynssober