Monday, April 07, 2008

Monday April 7

Yesterday I faced a fear and lived through it. I finished the half-marathon dead last. Last. The last one across the finish line. By several minutes. I felt so great I ran too fast for the first 9 miles. At nine miles, the pain started. It got worse and worse. I was barely able to walk in the last 2 miles. I finished too sick to even eat the burgers and brats that were provided at the post-race party! I was so sick to my stomach I purchased some saltines on my way home and that is what I had for lunch before I took a long bath and a short nap. And do you know what? I feel great about that race. I am glad I was last because I have always feared that... it was fine. The pain was not fine, but the finishing last was fine.

Today I am looking forward to the day. I am also looking forward to continuing to run and to train for a marathon. I learned some important things yesterday.

Isn't this what we alcoholics do? We plunder through life, making horrible mistakes and messes - and we learn from them and turn them to good use... helping countless others with lessons learned.

11 comments:

Pam said...

I've learned - Don't run, it hurts. Being last is A-OK.
Keep striving, it will get better.

dAAve said...

You're a winner because you tried it. Last place is only a number. Only 1 person came in first.
The lesson is not who finished in front, but in those who tried.

Scott W said...

It may be of no consolation, but I would have finished much later than you. Much!

Anonymous said...

I like to think of what you so insightfully described...how we alcoholics can learn from our mistakes and use them to help others...as "God's Divine Economy" - nothing has to be wasted; good can come from everything when we are open to his will for us and the power to carry it out.
Thanks again for all your honest sharing. I read your blog daily.
Ann P.

Kathy Lynne said...

last but not least as they say..... good for you. You sound good today...

I'm with Pam, thanks for sharing so I know that I do not want to run....but walking works too.

Syd said...

And the last shall be first--you finished and that's what counts. You were wanting to finish and you did. I think that learning something from even the painful things or those that our ego perceives as painful is the important thing. Good for you MC.

Zane-nawwaa said...

GOOD FOR YOU. You did it. YOU finished. YEA.
Enjoy your new computer.

Mark said...

You "got" into the "ring" of life, fought the good fight and lived.

The victory was in taking the risk :)

WTG!

dirtydishes said...

I was thinking of you off and on throughout the day. I think that it is awesome that you finished!

Christine said...

you crossed the finish line! Some of us never get the race started...

Mocha Coffee said...

Hiya, well done for finishing the race! What got my attention was what you said here:

Isn't this what we alcoholics do? We plunder through life, making horrible mistakes and messes - and we learn from them and turn them to good use... helping countless others with lessons learned.

That is truly any one of us in essence. I am newly sober,until a few days ago I was like you, sage and strong and succeeding in life. I put myself under too much pressure and let some recent rejections get the better of me, so I went off the deep end.

So to echo your sentiment, I share what I have learned this particular time. However bad we are feeling about life or a rejection, we will feel a million times worse when we sober up.

Also related to my recent fall off of the wagon: I also learned that we do not have to drink in order to get up the courage to enjoy certain pleasures, we simply make a moral choice, an adult choice.

Just wanted to connect with you and tell you to keep up the good work. I see much of myself in you, I am very much a fitness enthusiast and very meticulous in my ways.

I don't know if this is true, but I wonder if sober people lead better and more fulfilling lives than drinkers who can "handle it" I would certainly say you are an example of this.

Cheerio! Mocha