Fifty-five years ago today, a little girl was born, the youngest of five children. She was a cute little thing, but she didn't know it. She was a bright little girl, but she didn't know that either. Because of a disease that she didn't even know she had (alcoholism), she suffered from never feeling like she was good enough, never felt that she fit in, never felt she belonged - anywhere.
Thank God I drank enough to get desperate enough to get to Alcoholics Anonymous - where I knew immediately that I belonged. I realized I was good enough for AA, I fit right in, and I had found my home. Through finding my home in AA, I was able to venture out in the world, knowing that those former beliefs were just self-centered nonsense. When that crap tries to start back up, which it does, I just remind myself that it is ego driven bullshit and ask God to help me - which he never fails to do.
This morning, I realize that I have been sober for 40% of my entire life. I intend, with the help of God, to increase that ratio every year until they plant my sober old remains in the ground.
Today I join another age group in many ways. I can get a cheap breakfast at Perkins (which I may do once or twice a decade.) I am 5 years into eligibility for AARP (which I refuse to join.) BUT the important thing is that I am in a different age group for races! I hope that I may actually start placing in races since my belief is that the competition will thin out. We shall see.
This morning, after speaking at an AA meeting at 6:30 a.m., I am going to go to a nearby lake and run 5.5 miles. One mile for each decade of my life. I did the same when I was 30, I ran 3 miles, and I thought it was huge. I am thrilled to be able to do this.
God has so abundantly blessed me. And one of those blessings is you sober bloggers. Thank you so much for what you add to my sobriety - it is considerable.
"We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 68