I am struggling to get going this morning. I was feeling tired and unmotivated. I opted to take a day off from running today. I even tried to post something here earlier and just sat here without any idea of what to write. And then went back to bed for a half hour!
As I was doing my hair and putting on my make up this morning I had a sudden glimpse of myself. You know, not the hair or the eyelashes, but ME. I had a moment of intense gratitude for what God has done with my life. Here I am, in a beautiful home that I own, getting ready for a job I never dreamed I could have, looking at this body in a suit that is way too big, (I can whine about that, or just be grateful that I have lost weight and that I actually own a few suits - and they are nice!) thinking about the shopping I need to do for Christmas gifts, etc., etc., etc.....
Life is good. I find these short winter days challenging though. I have always found Christmas challenging. I am missing my son. I am somewhat apprehensive about the arrival in 9 days of my 55th birthday. Oh, and my arch-rival at work got that promotion that I would have liked. But thanks to this way of life and a loving God who helps me if I ask him, I was able to immediately send her a congratulatory e-mail as soon as I heard the news, and I have been able to sincerely feel happy for her. Now, THAT is a miracle!
It's all about how I want to look at things. And I really do have a choice about that.
Thank you all for reading, and commenting, and sharing your lives in your blogs.
"We commenced to make many fast friends and a fellowship has grown up among us of which it is a wonderful thing to feel a part. The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 15
15 comments:
What a lovely post.
Maybe I should try some makeup.
I remember when I was using and weighed about 102 pounds my roomate forced me to look at myself in the mirror. "Look at yourself!" he said. I looked but I couldn't see anything wrong, or even really anything that resembled the me I thought I was. Thank God for recovery. Today I am able to look at myself and be pretty content with who and what I see. Thanks for your post.
That reminds me of the Earth, Wind and Fire song:
When you wish upon a star
Dreams will take you very far, yeah
When you wish upon a dream
Life ain´t always what it seems, oh yeah
Once you see your light so clear
In the sky so very dear
You´re a shinig star, no matter who you are
Shining bright to see what you can truly be
That you can truly be
it is our perspective isn't it? Is the glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
thank you for being here and for sharing--I love the fellowship that's brought us to know one another a bit
Thanks for this post, MC. Very good stuff.
Peace,
Scout
Thank you for writting this. The last 5 months of my using, I had sheets over all the mirrors, so I wouldn't have to see....me. Now, when I pass a mirror, I smile and wave...yo Pam :-)
OH Daave you are such a BRAT!! LOL
I think that is awesome and can understand what you are saying about seeing YOU... WOW! and its good and WOW and you realize that even though with all the stuff going on around you its still GOOD... God has us.
I just really admire you MC>
PS what time to you work, I am always facinated how you get up in the morninmg have time to run a "quick" 3 mile :) and come back home blog to us :) and then take a nice hot bath and get to work... LOL WHAT IS YOUR SECRET??? :)
You go God!
Omg MC I just love you...wish I could give you a big snuggly hug!
Your thoughts and feelings are so natural and appreciated here.
I know you miss your kiddo..but you have a good way of balancing your life it sounds so to not getting too down for too long.
I love your personal outlook of yourself too..you just wonderful!
Sending you love and warm thoughts.
Thanks for sharing~
Sounds like you are embracing the simple things that are really grand! And good for you sending out that email. That is a well supported action.
Ok..maybe you should watch out for polar bears.. hell it can't be that bad.
I was driving home last night, there was a giant orange full moon over the ocean and I thought of your post...and how it's the same moon..and how we are all connected...I got really grateful to be a part of all this. Thank you MC
That's just great...congratulations for showing me how to react to life sanely.....
I wait every morning for you to post. Then, I know it is time to start my day.
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