I am sick. I have bronchitis. I could not get up to get to the meeting this morning. It is after 8 a.m., and I am sitting here in my flannel jammies, drinking some coffee, trying to get ready to get out of here. I still have Christmas shopping to do, to mail a package to New York in time for Christmas - I think I have to do that today!
My birthday was wonderful yesterday. It was good to tell my story - although I found 20 minutes a very short amount of time. (Tonight I will have an hour to tell it.) Even though I was sick, I did go to the lake and run 5.5 miles - that was so important to me. I am glad I did it. I went and got a manicure for a little birthday treat, and came home and made cheesecake for dessert for the family. The family came over and it was great fun. We ordered pizza because I was too sick to do anything else last night. My son was able to call me on my birthday which meant a lot to me. All three of my brothers called and so did my sister. So I heard from really all of my close relatives. The former boyfriend called last night too - I am not sure why he has called me 2X in the last week.
I am so grateful for the life I have today. It may not be perfect, but it is so incredibly wonderful - not for opulence or worldly success or even a studly man by my side - but for peace of mind, and the feeling that I am on the right path. I looked at the people in that room yesterday as I was speaking and was overwhelmed with love for them. I looked over at C., who drove me home from the hospital after my surgery in 1999, and helped me move in 1995, and 1998, at H., who wrapped a little birthday present for me yesterday, at L., who with C. and I tried to climb a 14er back in 1998 - I was the one who couldn't make it past 13,000 feet, but they all headed back down with me because that was the deal. I saw M. who spent a day in my crawl space back in the day, fixing a pipe that had exploded. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. And this is the group I started attending when I had 10 years of sobriety, so I have always thought of it as recent history. I think I realized yesterday that I have a deep history with this group as well as my old home group.
That is the stuff that makes my life worthwhile.
Thank you Alcoholics Anonymous.
"Still you may say ' But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book.' We cannot be sure. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave." -- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 164